The Problem with Princesses
by PB Headless
Summary: At the wrath of a very disgruntled princess, Gwen is wiped from Arthur's memory. It's up to Gwen to get the memories back. Written Post series two, so redundant by series three. Now Complete.
1. C1: The Lull before the Storm

**Summary:** At the wrath of a very disgruntled princess, Gwen is wiped from Arthur's memory. It's up to Gwen to get the memories back, but with her and Arthur's future together always in question, it's proving more difficult than she first thought.

**A/N:** This story is roughly inspired by the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" but as I said, roughly. It will be multi-chaptered and it ships Arthur/Gwen. Oh! and I don't own Merlin, the characters (other than the odd OCs plopped in to help the plot along) or the BBC, so that's a disclaimer and a half. Nevertheless, on with the story!

**CHAPTER ONE: The Lull before the Storm.**

The stone corridor was one of the lovely, balcony-like ones, graced with large glassless windows that overlooked the courtyard and the diligent morning sun to glaze strong bars of light across the floor. Two maids burst onto the scene, hair flying and dresses flapping whilst their laughter uprooted some birds nesting nearby. The first, a light blonde with long wavy hair, skidded to halt by one of the large openings and her friend; dusky with a mass of sooty curls collided into her side.

"Lydia!" She gasped, catching herself just before she tumbled out of the window next to the other girl. "Why'd stop?"

Her friend didn't respond, her breath evening as she took up a regal pose and looked serenely out of the opening, propped by its deep frame. "Pity…" she trailed, playing with a shiny blonde curl and accurately defining the meaning of vacant stare.

Gwen peered curiously out onto the courtyard. It looked the same as ever, a sun-trap with foreign dust and golden stone. The heat was deceptive though, the courtyard always bustled with bitter English wind. Lydia pierced her thoughts.

"We missed seeing the knights' train." She gives a woe-be-gone sigh and Gwen laughs.

"Is that why we were running?"

"Yes!" Lydia quickly snapped around, her voice incredulous as she studied her friend. "It completed my morning knowing that our army is well prepared."

Gwen scoffed, "You mean drooling over their sweat-slicked forms?"

Lydia grinned wolfishly "You have to admit they are pretty fine. 'Specially the prince, he's just…" her eyes widened and she elaborated a silent 'wow' with her hands up in surrender.

Gwen merely murmured in response, an irresistible image floating to her mind. He'd be the death of her, she thinks.

"Shame he's a prat, though." Lydia's voice surfaced her and drifted off as the blonde turned back towards the window. "I don't envy his future wife."

Guinevere opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of footsteps silenced the maids. Prince Arthur rounded the corner, stripping off flakes of armour as he approached the girls. Merlin clambered after him, picking up the discarded metal.

Gwen flushed to her roots and Lydia leapt away from the sill as if it were scalding hot. Both dropped into a curtsey, eyes averted from his threadbare shirt.

"Lydia. Guinevere." He greeted formally, stopping to bow his head to each of them. Gwen could hear Lydia's breath catching and heaving, eyes still trained on the floor. She couldn't even fathom her own body's reaction.

"Would one of you kindly assist my useless lump of a manservant to the armoury? I fear leaving him to do it himself would leave a tell-tale trail all the way to the storage." The Prince loftily commanded, ignoring Merlin's 'oi' which was half lost in a clatter of armour. "I rest my case." He added, not even looking behind him to see what exactly Merlin had dropped this time.

Lydia immediately rushed over to help, just managing a tiny "Yes sire" her eyes averted all the time. Merlin smiled knowingly at Arthur, who narrowed his eyes until the servant picked up the rest of the armour.

Arthur and Guinevere watched them turn the end corner, leaving them alone. The Prince and the Servant's bodies were parallel and too far apart for their preferences.

"Do you think I'm a prat?" He stated suddenly, actually sounding wounded.

Gwen had been convinced she had reached her optimum blush, yet that just tinged even deeper. "You were eavesdropping, sire?" she talked into the floor, wondering if it would appease her by swallowing her whole.

He pouted, his darkened blonde hair dripping sweat down his face. "I know everyone else does."

She sighed resignedly. "You're getting better all the time."

He scowled at her, "oh and that doesn't confirm my fears."

Guinevere raised her eyes to meet his. "I don't think you're a prat, Arthur." But before he could revel in a tidal wave of relief, she added "But you can see why others would think that."

"Hey!" He bleated, but the tension was lost and Guinevere smiled radiantly up at him.

"I'm sure Merlin would back me up here." She leaned forward, clasping her hand coyly behind her. "You're always a prat to him."

"I didn't know you cared so much" He reflected her smile, but it faltered slightly as his eyes left her face. Gwen suddenly felt very indecent, blanching in her cloth dress. She watched his face fearfully.

With a look of utmost concern, he brushed a loose curl behind her ear, letting his fingers run the length of her hair. She closed her eyes to his touch, all doubts forgotten.

There was a round of footsteps and his hand was stolen away as they stepped back from each other, the spell broken.

A handful of guards broke through the corridor, stopping just in front of the Prince and bowing deeply. They ignored Guinevere, addressing Arthur formally.

"Your father requires your presence in the throne room immediately, sire." One motioned, any personality contained in the matter of form.

Arthur nods blearily and they march off. The corridor is empty once more.

Gwen sighs, eyes averted once more. "You should go."

He looks ashamed, but nods reverently. "I'll see you later?" He glances up, eyes swimming with hope Guinevere can't deny.

"If there's time." She smiled briefly, for his sake.

He walked away, his face grim as he denied the very core of him that yearned to stay.

~o~

"Arthur! There you are!" Uther beamed, something his long-grieved face managed to translate into a very scary sight indeed. "I thought training ended some time ago, haven't you had the chance to change?" Not waiting for the answer he slapped his son on the back and started up the small flight of stairs to his throne.

"Father, is there a particular reason why you have summoned me?" Arthur scowled, barely hiding his irritation as he watched his father turn the languid hourglass that deprived him of the object of his affections.

"Of course there is." Uther growled, he had finally reached his throne and collapsed into it, relief coursing through his creaky bones. "I am informing you of the upcoming visit from King Carmen and his wife and daughter."

A flash of dread washed over the Prince, but it appeared only his lanky servant noticed it. Merlin had caught wind of the upcoming meeting on his way to drop off Arthur's armour and now stood in the shadows, curiously listening in.

"King Carmen?" Arthur voiced what everyone was questioning.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten already. The plans where made some time ago, Arthur" The king scolded. His son shifted nervously. "King Carmen and his beautiful daughter Rosaline…?" Uther trailed on, watching his son for signs of recognition. "…who happens to be eligible for mar-"

"I hope our royal guests aren't under the impression a betrothal is inevitable." Arthur spat, face flush with new anger.

"I was merely mentioning should you and Rosaline take to each other." Uther covered quickly, glaring at the boy for defying him so openly. When Arthur met his glare straight on, the King shrunk back down in the plush seat and averted his eyes.

"King Carmen's visit is purely for the benefit of our acquaintances. His kingdom is rather secluded and he scarcely leaves his realm, I've only met him a few times myself." Uther regained some composure, letting his voice drawl over the court.

Arthur clearly wasn't convinced, but he let it go. It was already awkward and he didn't want to feed the gossip already circling about his unwillingness to marry.

"They are due to arrive within the end of the week. The castle is to prepare for our guests." The King bore on, surveying the servants to sear the message into them. "That is all."

At the king's dismissal, Arthur turned abruptly and stalked off. Merlin followed after, grinning at Arthur's disgruntled expression. He looked well and truly annoyed.

"Go clean my armour." Arthur didn't bother even looking at his faithful servant; just knowing he had that insufferable grin on was enough.

"Fine, but you're going to miss out on some amazing Princess-be-gone tips!" Merlin laughed from behind the Prince.

"GO!" Arthur roared, flipping round to see the tail end of the lanky boy disappearing round the corner. _Great, _he scowled to himself; the last thing he needed was visiting royal family with an eligible princess to boot.

* * *

I think i'm going to enjoy writing this *Wicked smile*


	2. C2: Of Princesses and Magic

**CHAPTER TWO: Of Princesses and Magic**

"Merlin, there you are" The court physician grinned up at the lad "Where have you been? Your lunch is stone cold."

The bedraggled boy limped over to the thick wooden table and folded into a chair. "Arthur had me clean his armour" he moaned melodramatically. "Then the stables, then his bedroom, then the stables again because the stupid animals mussed it up."

Gaius merely laughed, "You're a servant Merlin, that's what you are supposed to do."

His chuckles were cut short when the servant's eyes flashed gold and his pie was piping hot again. "Merlin!" He scolded.

"Sorry Gaius" Merlin quipped automatically as he shovelled another load into his mouth. His mentor tutted and turned back to his work.

"So I heard there was a meeting today." He threw over his shoulder, anything to disturb the horrible sounds of Merlin inhaling his food.

"Mmmm" the warlock replied, interest piqued. "Something about -" he swallowed "- A king visiting," he waved his fork around elaborately, "a King Carmen, or something?"

Both men jumped as the vial Gaius had been holding shattered onto the worktop, spewing nasty purple liquid over the tired oak. "Carmen? Did you say Carmen?!"

"Ummm… yes?" Merlin tentatively replied, peering over at the old man hastily amending the mess "Is there something I should know?"

"No, no" Gaius gasped, wiping up the liquid with new found agility. "It's nothing just," he swept up the last of the glass and faced the warlock at last. "It's just a surprise, that's all."

"How come?" Merlin, now sure there hadn't been any side affects to the potion spill, pushed his chair back and dumped his empty plate in the sink. His elder scowled at his actions before replying.

"Well, King Uther and King Carmen have never really gotten along." Gaius sighed, it was right for him to know. "King Carmen has always had a much more… lax approach to sorcery."

"Oh." Merlin grimaced. "That's really something to disagree on."

Gaius nodded. "Indeed, he still has a court sorcerer."

"What? Really?!" Merlin actually looked dumbfounded. You could see the cogs in his brain processing the information "I didn't think any courts would after the purge."

"Well, I happen to know that during the purge King Carmen's realm became the safest place for warlocks and witches. He took them all under his wing… unknown to Uther of course, but he suspected Carmen."

The warlock blinked stupidly, overcome by this image of a gilded king, a friend to magic, someone who didn't fear Uther's wrath. He smiled at the thought.

Gaius frowned at Merlin's grin. "Anyway, Carmen has most likely left his court sorcerer behind to guard his realm. They're not known to be that close, there's actually a rumour circling that Princess Rosaline isn't the kings at all, but the product of an affair between the warlock and his wife."

The boy started. "That would mean she would inherit his magic..." Merlin stated incredulously. It was one this to have a King that tolerates magic but another to have a potentially magical bastard child as his only heir.

"If hearsay is anything to go by, yes."

The mentor and warlock exchanged nervous glances. This was going to be no ordinary royal visit.

~o~

Uther paced up the grand hall, crown on his head, hands behind his back. As if to further emphases how little work he was doing whilst the servants around him had been up long before dawn, he yawned loudly and sent one off to get him a glass of water.

Everyone was in a flutter about the upcoming royal visit. Chambers had to be prepared and many grand feasts were to be arranged. Uther himself didn't seem so worried about the hospitality of his guests and was causing trouble with odd requests, like ordering the guards release some of the more pitiful prisoners, in order to "make room just in case." and doubling the security shifts. It wasn't the first time the servants just wished he would leave them to it.

Arthur appeared more affected by the abrupt increase in servant workload. He was suffering from what Merlin cheekily tagged as 'Gwen withdrawal symptoms', which, in all fairness, was partly a helping of dread for the upcoming interactions he may have to endure with the princess. Although, Guinevere hadn't been picked to be her maid, something he was very grateful for indeed. He couldn't stand the thought of his Queen serving some… princess.

Finally, the time had come.

The king, the castle, and the court arranged themselves in the chilly courtyard. Not all the castle were present of course, the servant mass in particular flitted back and forth, endlessly worried over forgotten chores and abandoned routines. A handful of the knights had shown - whether by choice or force was anyone's guess but they looked sourer by the minute. Servant or knight, they all looked like they'd much rather be somewhere else.

At the centre of this already foreboding sight, not helped by the punctuation of guards stationed at every window, was the King. Uther couldn't hide the smirk on his face, something that was intimidating enough without an unhealthy portion of his Army tucked behind him.

"Is it me, or does it look like we are preparing for the start of war, rather than the arrival of some royal family?" Gwen whispered to Merlin, keeping her face straight and her pose proper as she leaned over to talk to him. They were at the fringe of the 'welcoming committee' and overlooked the scene with amusement.

Merlin grinned, she was more than right. If it weren't for the smirk, he'd thought King Uther was rather scared. The extra security was more than enough to back him up.

Gwen peered into the crowd. "Where's Arthur?"

"He said he'd come down when he sees them come over the horizon." Merlin shivered "I wish I'd stayed with him, to be honest. It's warmer inside."

The conversation was cut short as a fanfare piped up. Simultaneously, the servants subtly clambered over each other in an attempt to see the guests first. After a bit of squinting, you cold make out an ornate carriage winding its way down over the surrounding hills. It was flanked by dark brown steeds and a party of smaller horses trailed behind, heavy footed as they were laden with belongings.

The town parted for them at the first sign of the royal crest, mothers ushering slip-shod children inside and stall owners fighting to save their wares from the crushing wheels.

"Finally!" Merlin jumped as Arthur appeared behind them. Gwen merely flushed scarlet, trying to ignore how close he was. The crowned prince slipped over to his father, who glared at him, just as the gates opened.

"Welcome to Camelot" Uther looked as benevolent as he could manage, arms thrust wide as the party filtered in. At the head was the crest bearer, followed by the king then the carriage.

The other king looked down from his steed, his face unreadable. He had a similar build to Uther, but was the taller of the two. He was seemingly ageless, only the speckles of grey muzzling his hair suggested he was old. The crown on his head held an eerie glow which any average sorcerer could tell had been tampered with to enhance the shine.

King Carmen leapt down from the horse easily, clasping Uther's waiting hand. They exchanged pleasantries, but the veins rose in their wrists as they grappled each other, a well disguised test of strength. All they while their servants twittered around, bumbling with Camelot's servants to get the job done.

The carriage door had been swung open, and the queen had stepped out. She held a bountiful smile, but had a slightly forgotten feel with her simple gown and hair. To anyone, she could appeared broken inside, but for the sake of the bands of gold around her finger and around her head, she stood tall and proud.

Princess Rosaline was the last to emerge from the carriage. She had a flowing, traditional gown that was a fine as a newborn baby's hair and long, brunette curls that held tight to frame her face, but fell away into mismatched waves around the back. Arthur hated to admit she was rather pretty, in damsel in distress kind of way. A sharp jab in the back later and he realised he was supposed to be helping her out. Shooting a glare at his father, whose eyes flashed from behind his false grin in response, the prince walked over and offered his arm.

Gwen let out a long sigh as the two greeted each other. He stiffly welcomed her, and she shyly responded, clutching a book to her chest as if her life depended on it. She freed one hand and placed it delicately on his arm, she smiled up at him. He held the gaze longer than necessary, a smile curling at his face too. Gwen folded her arms across her chest and desperately fought the wave of self-doubt that drowned her in that moment, suffocating like that odious waterfall of curly brown hair was twisted around her throat.

The royal party was led inside, Rosaline still holding Arthur's arm, and in turn, holding power over the cascading feeling of doom inside of Guinevere.

"Gwen?" She felt Merlin tug at her elbow. The courtyard was slowly emptying, servants filtering out in mismatched directions to the stables and kitchens. "You okay?"

She twisted to look up at her friend. "Yeah, I'm okay Merlin." She felt so tired all of a sudden, looking at the shadows under his eyes.

"Sure?" His face creased with worry.

"Yeah. I just need some sleep, that's all."

* * *

=| I was going to add more, but i'm just having difficulties getting it together. Better this than nothing! Thank you for all your positive responses so far :)


	3. C3: His Queen and her Heart

**CHAPTER THREE: His Queen and her Heart**

Princess Rosaline wasn't hated. As far as her reputation went, she wasn't much of anything. The shrouded princess of a far away realm, pretty, kind, subdued. She spent her childhood dancing in-between apple trees and her adult life in the library, pouring over tales of love and adventure. She didn't have any friends to occupy her time - her handful of ladies-in-waiting were all older than her. Her mother was more than willing to give up her time for her daughter, but she disapproved of the princess's affection for books, adamant they were giving her ideas.

So when she heard she was going to Camelot, it finally seemed like her destiny had come for her. Camelot was everything her realm wasn't; a place of adventure, war and power. Of heroic knights and damsels in distress, of magic and princes and love.

Love. She had read enough about it to believe she knew it at first sight.

And here she was, staring at the very definition of the word. Prince Arthur was charming, handsome and genuine. He would have seemed almost too perfect if it weren't for his reputation of being a bit full of himself. But it seemed to Rosaline he was perfectly just to have it, basking in a life of slaying dragons and evil doers.

She laughed at something he says. What it was, she didn't know, too distracted by watching him talk. That was a bit embarrassing, she realised, so she shifted in her overstuffed arm chair and looked somewhere in the room other than the golden prince's face.

The royals were seated in a plush little side chamber. It was a small room by any means, but it was decorated as elaborately as the rest of the castle. It had wooden panelling on the walls with intricate flora carved into its oak arms and there were flickering lamps pooling out small circles of light. It was probably supposed to be comforting and friendly, but she couldn't help but feel it was a ruse. The chairs were hard and the cushions squashy; the kind that you eventually sink into if you sit too long.

Suddenly everyone was shifting and it occurred to her it was night-time already. The two kings had been drinking heavily and suddenly seemed to be on really good terms and her mother looked deeply embarrassed as she led her husband out. Arthur sighed and Rosaline stared, fascinated, as he raked a hand through his overgrown blonde hair and ordered the servants to see his father back to the kings' chambers. It came so naturally to him, yet somehow he didn't sound over demanding.

"Milady," He turned to her and she gasped "Your maid-servant will show you to your chambers. Good night." And with that, he stalked out.

She stood for a while, slightly stunned. He had seemed so… cold. "Milady?" She started, looking down and realising a maid was talking her about chambers. She frowned, but let herself be lead away. It felt so odd… shouldn't he be standing around making small talk until they fell naturally into a long, deep conversation and talked all night about his adventures… then they would be so close and their engagement would be announced and she would never be bored again… she sighed dreamily, and dismissed the maid as soon as she was dressed for bed.

Rosaline trailed over to the window and gazed out over the beautiful city, trying to dismiss her slight feeling of hurt. That was when she noticed someone sneaking out of the castle. She peered down, vaguely making out the figure crossing the courtyard. Arthur. Without a second thought, she grabbed her cloak and rushed out to follow him.

~o~

"So, when's the wedding day?" Merlin quipped, running to catch up to Arthur.

"Shut up Merlin." He growled, driving forward through the silent castle.

"I was just saying," Merlin grinned at the Prince's scowl "She was so taken to you, I'm not sure she heard a word anyone was saying!"

Arthur halted and Merlin walked straight into him. "Err, ow?" The boy added, rubbing his head. Arthur rolled his eyes and pushed into his chambers. He seized his crown and dumped it onto the side, followed shortly by his thick cloak and Merlin, who set about putting them in the right places.

"She's quite pretty actually, maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world if you two were engaged." Merlin pondered, his eyes filled with hidden laughter. "Of course, you most likely will be this time tomorrow if your father keeps being all chummy with Carmen."

"MERLIN!" Arthur whipped round, eyes ablaze. "Will you just SHUT UP?!"

"okay, okay," Merlin raised his hands in defeat "I was just saying." Arthur held his glare for a little longer, testing him. Merlin raised his eyebrows in response, then pressed his lips together firmly to further accentuate his silence.

"Hand me my cloak." Arthur barked instead, pacing to the table and seizing his sword.

"Why?" Merlin narrowed his eyes, drawing out the word. He slowly made his way over to the wardrobe, picking out the travelling cloak.

Arthur ignored him, sheathing the sword and now looking around, his mind whirring. Next thing and he was on the opposite side of the room, clasping the bunch of flowers from his windowsill.

"I'm going to see Guinevere." He announced grandly, thrusting the flowers into the air. Merlin dropped the cloak. Arthur glowered at him.

"What? Why?" Merlin bumbled, clutching at the velvet hem and hastily dusting the fabric off.

Arthur frowned. "I haven't seen her all day!"

The other boy looked somewhat scared. "It might not be a good idea, Arthur, she's been working all day -" Arthur gave him a pointed look "- and she needs her sleep. Perhaps you should visit her in the morning."

His pleas fell on deaf ears as the prince grabbed his cloak and in one swift motion, he had fastened the cloak and was out of the door. Merlin clenched his teeth and raised his eyebrows, his hands still positioned as if he were holding the velvet. "Or, you could just go anyway despite everything I've just said"

~o~

Guinevere lay in her small, cramped bed, trying and failing to fall asleep. She suspected she dozed off not long after she had staggered home from the welcoming ceremony, but either way it was the middle of the night and she was awake. She sighed deeply, her mind buzzing, occupied in an argument with herself. She moaned, distressed, as a particularly negative thought popped into her head.

There was a knock. She sat up, startled.

"Guinevere?" Was that…? Was that Arthur whispering through her door?

He knocked again, and she became conscious that she was still sitting while the Prince of Camelot stood at her door. She rose and made her way over quickly.

"Arthur?" She stared, registering his tousled hair and the grey shadows on his face. He slipped into her house and closed the door. "What are you doing here?"

He shuffled, looking nervously down at his feet. "I… I just thought umm," he drew his hands out of his cloak and a bouquet of flowers emerged "you might like these? But I mean," He pushed them towards her "I'm sure you'd much rather have your sleep and I'm sorry for disturbing you…" to her alarm, he turned to leave, placing the flowers on the table.

"Arthur," she smiled, plucking up the flowers and cradling them. They were the same ones she had picked for his chambers that morning but it's the thought that counts… "I missed you too."

His back straightened and he turned round slowly. She rose up on her toes and kissed him sweetly. Holding the kiss, he picked the flowers out of her arms and took their place, slowly moving his arms around her. She broke this kiss first, blushing furiously and staring into his chest.

He inhaled her perfume and smiled at the sudden feeling of content that passed through him, happy just to hold her small frame. He lifted a hand and raised her face to his again, brushing a finger over her flushed cheeks. "You okay?" he found himself saying, watching her eyes.

She looked away and distances herself, trying to ignore this drowning sensation "I'm just a bit tired. I was up long before dawn today." He nods, loosening his hold.

"I should leave you to sleep then." He resigns, but doesn't move from his spot.

Gwen sighs, looking into the floor, anywhere but her face. If she looked up at his face again, she might kiss him again. "Do you like Princess Rosaline?" the words tumbled out of her mouth and she regretted them immediately. She feels him stiffen and his arms go to his side.

"What?" he said stupidly, wondering if he missed a chunk of the conversation.

"Someday you're going to marry a princess and you'll have to forget all about me." She realised she was crying now, staring into his startled face. "We can't pretend that won't happen."

"Guinevere…" he started, encasing her in another hug, holding her as her body couldn't "I will never forget about you. I _couldn't _forget about you."

She wept into his shoulder, feeling more and more like she had betrayed herself by revealing this to him. He stroked her hair soothingly and picked up off the floor. He carried her easily to her bed, placing her down on the hard mattress and kneeling next to her.

"I don't want to marry a Princess, I want to -" He stopped suddenly, peeling a curl off her face and gazing into her eyes. "I want to marry you."

She chokes "It's not up to you who you marry; it's up to your father. You can't marry a servant, Arthur."

He looks at her, somewhat piteously.

"Just forget about me." She whispered.

"Never." He breaths, coming up on the bed next to her and he held her as she cried into him.

~o~

Rosaline crouches in a bush nearby, emotions swirling within her. Pity for this Guinevere character, awe at this straight-out-of the fairy tales scene and resentment. Deep, deep resentment. Her Arthur held Guinevere until she fell asleep, stroking her hair and whispering sweet nothings. Her blood boiled.

She watched as he slowly climbed out of the bed, placing _her_ like she was a fine ornament. She watched as he wrote a note for _her _and left it on _her _pillow. She watched as he kissed _her _forehead and slid out the door.

He walked right past the Princess, oblivious to her presence. She growled, and some force within her bubbled to the surface. "LACUNAR AMORAY!" she must have yelled, her eyes flashing gold as Prince Arthur looked to the sound of her voice. Her hand shook as she slowly lowered it and tears prickled at her eyes. She sprinted out of the bush towards the castle.

Arthur stood for a moment. He was sure he had heard something. He shook his head and walked back to the castle in a daze.

* * *

*nervous grin* lovely load of dramatic irony there and finally, the story starts!

Thankyou for reading, favouriting and watching this story, I really appriciate it!

And to my good friend, Nonfelonious, who kept my tenses in check for this chapter :)


	4. C4: Eternal Sunshine

**CHAPTER FOUR: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind**

Merlin burst into the room, spectacularly tripping over his own feet and falling head first. He caught himself just in time, letting out a loud "Whew! That was close!" When Arthur didn't comment on either his lateness or his clumsiness, Merlin peered at his master curiously.

Merlin snickered, the regal prince was splayed out on top of his sheets, face down and still wearing yesterday's boots and clothes.

"Good Morning Arthur!" Merlin grinned, taking too much delight in ripping open the curtains and bounding around the room.

Arthur groaned from his unflattering position on the bed, a bold ray of sunshine was highlighting the lines in his face and probing at his eyes. It illuminated the dust in the air, which swirled as if it hadn't been disturbed for a long time.

Merlin stood over him, smirking. "So, how'd your night with Gwen go?"

The prince frowned at him whilst slowly twisting into a sitting position "What are you on about, Merlin?" Arthur clutched his head, wondering why it was thumping.

Merlin laughed "Did you drink or something?"

The other man scowled, not in the mood for Merlin's nonsensical ramblings right now, let alone his unrestrained laughter.

"Just get me breakfast." Arthur snapped, staring daggers at the boy until he obliged and made for the door "and something for this damn headache whilst you're at it!"

~o~

"I'm not sure you should go to training until you get that headache cure." Merlin scuttled after the Prince. "Gaius said it'd be ready soon."

"It's just a headache Merlin, it's not fatal." Arthur snapped. "In fact, it's even getting better on its own." He marched through the courtyard, eyes ahead and face set.

"Good morning, Arthur" Gwen jogged slightly to catch up with him, smiling her usual smile.

He stopped abruptly and stared at her "Excuse me?"

She looked at him blankly, curls lifting in the breeze "Good morning?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?!" When she looked set to reply, he carried on "oh, I dunno, that I'm _the prince_. And you should address me as so?"

She stares, lips parted. He looks at her incredulously "I could have you thrown in the stocks for that."

Something snaps behind her eyes and she stares at her feet. "I'm sorry, sire." She chokes.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." There was no pity in his voice. He just walked away.

~o~

"What the hell was that!?" Merlin gaped, running after him to the training grounds.

"What was what?" Arthur replied, nonplussed.

"That, back there, with Gwen!"

"Gwen?"

Merlin threw his hands up in frustration. "You know, Gwen. You never talk to her like that!"

The Prince laughed shortly "I don't have a clue what you are talking about Merlin, you really are more stupid than you look. And that -" he regarded his servant's lanky frame and overgrown ears "that is saying something."

Merlin stared peculiarly at Arthur, ignoring the laughter on the other man's face. "I don't get it. That was Gwen you were talking to."

"I'm not really sure what the problem is."

His servant yelped "What was the problem?! You-"

"Ohhh…" Arthur stopped, mockingly stroking his chin "I get it now."

Merlin stared, deadpan "You do?"

"Yes!" The Prince smiled, his voice dangerously light and easy as he wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulder "You're in love with Gwen!"

"What?! No!" Merlin pushed out of his grasp. "I'm not in love with Gwen, you are!"

There was an awkward pause as both parties realised they were surrounded by confused looking knights of Camelot.

Arthur shook his head. "You really are delusional. I don't even know who she is." He turned away, motioning for the knights to stop gawking and start warming up "Go tidy my room, Merlin. And when you're done with that, I'm sure the stable boys could do with a hand."

Merlin stood for a moment, his face grappled with pure horror. _He didn't even know who she was?_

~o~

Gaius didn't look up from his work at the sound of the door, presuming it was Arthur finally collecting his headache medicine. "Ahh, finally decided to think of your own well-being for once, sire. Ever the curse of the knight."

When he heard loud sob, he looked up to see a shell-shocked Guinevere floating in his doorway.

"Gwen, my dear, what happened?" He put his work aside and moved forward to encompass her in a hug. She clung gratefully to him.

"He just yelled at me! He's never spoken to me like that before!" She almost plead, staring up at Gaius with tear filled eyes. "I mean, its how he should speak to me, I am a servant but…"

"I know, I know" Gaius soothed, taking a guess that she was talking about Arthur. The door opened again, and Merlin flew in.

"Gwen, I'm so sorry, I can't believe he said that to you but I think I know why." He jabbered. "He's forgotten who you are."

Gwen just stared "What?"

Merlin continued tactlessly "He told me he didn't even know who you were."

"How is that possible?" She exclaimed.

"Magic." Gaius interjected. The other two briefly looked alarmed, forgetting he had been there "If he appears to have forgotten only…" He glanced fleetingly at Gwen's worried face "Then it was most likely due to magical tampering. I suspect a memory editing spell -"

"- Aimed to eradicate the one he loves" Merlin finished absently, his mind already five miles ahead of the rest. Gwen looked momentarily disarrayed, still not used to being referred to as 'Arthur's love'

"Indeed." Gaius finished gravely. Then the door opened again.

Arthur stood, seemingly lost his momentum as his eyes flickered over his servant. "Merlin? Why aren't you cleaning my room?"

"Is training over already?" His manservant looked over curiously. Gwen hurriedly wiped her eyes and busied herself tiding Gaius' desk.

"No…" Arthur narrowed his eyes "Are you telling me you were planning on slacking off until training was over so it looked like you'd done work?"

"I have cleaned your chambers actually, I happen to be here inquiring about your headache medicine." Merlin matched the future king's stare straight on. "How come you are out of training early?"

Arthur shrugged, walking over to Gaius. "I've been feeling odd all morning. There's the thumping headache and -" he paused, briefly looking at Gwen "- I just… feel like something's missing?"

Gwen's back straightened and Merlin coughed quickly "Well, I hope it's not something important, like a limb!" He pretended to look over Arthur quickly. "Nope, two arms, two legs and a head, I think you're set."

"Shut up Merlin." The Prince reprimanded humourlessly. "Well Gaius?"

"I'm sure it's nothing." Gaius defined quickly. At least two people in the room knew it was the sure sign of a spell "It's possible the feeling might go away with the headache."

Arthur nodded, accepting the vial handed to him. "Great, now I can go back to training."

"And I can go back to my… servant duties!" Merlin added elaborately, a fake smile plastered on his lips. Arthur gave him a look that clearly said _'you better' _and stalked out, downing the potion as he went.

The room gave a collective sigh. Gwen wiped her eyes tiredly. "What can we do? If it's magic then who would do such a thing?"

Merlin grinned. "Luckily who would do such a thing is the easy part." Gwen shot him a look. He continued "If the goal is simply to remove you from his memory, then it's bound to be jealousy. Someone must have seen you together last night and acted accordingly."

Gwen flushed. Gaius shot her a curious look. "We were just talking, it could have been interpreted as anything" She disregarded, trying to ignore the growing feeling of dread in her.

"Well." Merlin snapped his hands together. "I have a feeling trying to track down and question all of Arthur's admirers will be a waste of time, especially as we are looking for one that also happens to be a sorcerer in a kingdom that bans sorcery. So I guess it's time to hit the books." He made for the library.

"Merlin." Gaius interrupted him sternly. "You certainly will try and track down the person behind it, Arthur is the Prince and there is always the possibility everything is not as it seems. Me and Gwen will search for a cure. You will go back to your servant duties."

Merlin opened his mouth to retort, but Gaius glared at him, challenging him to defy. "I suggest you listen to hearsay about particularly… motivated admirers of Arthur." His voice was delicate, but there was no need as Gwen tried not to think too much into it. So, a jealous witch had enchanted the prince to forget about her. That was fairly ordinary, right? They would have to work without the assistance of any authority, of course, as King Uther would not have any reason to believe his son was under a spell. Or missing anything. Or anyone. Her heart swelled and she smiled to herself coyly. Anyway. Stay focussed, and this bad dream will all be over soon.

The manservant left begrudgingly, the excitement in his eyes (insensitive and flourished as it was) had dulled and he had sloped out of the door, leaving them to it.

"Gwen. Are you okay?" Gaius queried, softly. Gwen wondered if she could make at least a chapter without someone asking her that.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

* * *

It killed me, writing this :( I already have the ending planned out, and frankly i can't wait to gouge on it's amazing...ness. It's just getting there that's going to be the problem.

Another thing, school is starting up come monday, and conveniently i'm supposed to be revising etc, so... *grimace*


	5. C5: What goes around comes around

**CHAPTER FIVE: What goes around comes around.**

Arthur wasn't the only one with a headache that morning; Merlin, at the expense of his labour, Gwen at the confusion of it all and Rosaline because she believed in karma. She had been feeling faint all day, a sure sign of an upcoming flu or other fairly treatable illness. In terms of the spell, she believed it was also fairly treatable, as in her favourite novel a sorcerer interrupted in the end, but this was Camelot, for goodness' sake. No sorcerer would be foolish enough to live in their own death bed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Milady" She jumped, a body slamming into her. He had stepped back immediately, his breathing pronounced and his eyes flickering. Rosaline frowned, she recognised this man.

"Merlin, there you are!" That was it, he was Arthur's manservant. She flashed a momentary wicked grin before pushing the gangly man aside and falling faint into the arms of his master.

Arthur, of course, caught her gracefully and immediately called up guards and carried her to her chambers, falling hook line and sinker for the act. Merlin stumbled along as best as possible, confusion seeping over him as the image of her grin flashed through his mind again and again.

Gaius was called and the King and the Queen. It was announced she had a mild flu, which would leave her bed ridden for at least a day but it was far from fatal. The Princess all the while woodenly protesting against her mother's attention and desperately tried to catch the Prince's eye, revelling in the spotlight.

Arthur was apparently oblivious to this, standing back chivalrously and claiming it was only his duty. Merlin picked up on the distinctive pompous undertone and tried in vain to make sense of the whole situation. A Princess fighting for Arthur's attention was more than normal, it was somewhat expected, but in light of The Prince's recent memory loss it was suddenly suspicious. He shook the thought out of his head. He would need more evidence than that.

~o~

"Found something!" Both Gwen and Gaius looked up in annoyance.

"Is it something to do with our current predicament or something you just found amusing?" Gaius adjusted his glasses, voice sounding as tired as they all felt. He had spent most of the day with Princess Rosaline which had delayed the book search dramatically.

"Oh." Merlin looked down, the candles playing odd shadow games across his face. "Then I haven't found anything."

Gwen grimaced, pushing another thick volume aside. "This isn't working. The only 'cures' we've found seem to involve some sort of moonlit ceremony or deal with some…" she waved her hands around "ethereal being!"

"Well the moonlit ceremony sounded like a bit of a laugh, actually. I didn't see the problem with that one." Merlin interjected. Gwen could almost see the haunting ceremony playing out in his mind's eye, white cloaks and wine glasses.

"Merlin…" Gaius used the warning voice he had especially for his almost-son. "We agreed against the ceremony because it would mean Arthur drinking Gwen's blood…"

"Look, maybe we're just thinking too much into it." Merlin brushed the issue aside. "There must be something simpler."

"I suppose, we could always…" Gaius led off "… recreate the memories? Or try and persuade him into remembering?"

"True loves kiss!" Merlin suddenly bolted up. "It worked before!"

"Right. I think we've all got to go to bed." The old physician dropped his leather backed book on the table and stretched himself out. Gwen sighed.

"What?" Merlin bounded around "What's the problem with it?!"

"Merlin, it isn't just a go-to for any predicament. It's specifically for love alteration spells and there's a high chance the sorcerer who did this had more ulterior motives." Gaius answered. "It's very likely that the sorcerer just assumed" he paced himself, picking out the words "The Prince was using Guinevere for less… noble purposes. There's even a chance they were taking pot luck and didn't know." He didn't look at Gwen through all of this. She didn't look at him either, focussing on the wood of the table in front of her and chewing her lip.

"Oh." Merlin deflated "Right."

"Gwen, you may take the patient bed, it is best that you don't go home this late into the night" Gaius said not unkindly, easing himself off towards his own bed. "Merlin, make sure you get some sleep too, you still have your duties to attend to in the morning."

"Okay…" he resigned, blowing out a few candles before making his way to his side room. "Oh and Gwen?" He stopped suddenly, turning to see her still sitting at the table. "Don't worry. We will find something, moonlit ceremony -" they both chuckled at that, her face neatly crinkling into a smile "- or otherwise."

"Merlin…" she trailed, the smile flickering away as she wondered whether she could trust him with her ever growing feeling of doubt "… Last night I said he should just forget me and he said he would never forget me." She choked on her words but struggled to the end of the sentence bravely.

"Well, there's nothing I can do about that nasty piece of irony." Merlin hovered, feeling very awkward "We'll just have to keep searching so we can put this behind us."

"What if we shouldn't?! What if he is better off not knowing me?!" Her whole body shook violently and she braced herself on the table, fighting tears.

"Gwen." He walked over and hugged her then and she twisted to meet his arms. Somehow it felt like betrayal, and for a fleeting second Merlin could picture Arthur's scrutiny. He took a shot in the dark. "You know Arthur has always been a really big PRAT."

Gaius, lying on his bed somewhere in the shadows just managed to cover his snort of laughter. Really, Merlin? This is how you're going to console her?

Gwen made a small noise and Merlin spotted the flicker of a smile so he carried on. "Well. He was really really pratish and really quite horrible to me…" He rubbed her back soothingly "But then he fell in love with you. And suddenly he was less of a prat." She shifted, he was sure she was listening "And I thought, hey, great. He's learning, he's changing. He's going to be the king everyone expects him to be. Then yesterday I get his breakfast and suddenly, he's acting like he's 12 again and he's god's gift to the world."

Gwen smiled into his chest. "You changed him, Gwen." He murmured, "You changed him. I'm indebted to you for how much more tolerable he is now. Or…" she tensed, and his voice was sad "Or how he was yesterday." He sighed, but shook it aside "The point is, if you don't want to get the memories back for the sake of your relationship, or even for yourself, get them back for him. He's just lost a whole bout of maturity which he will really need some day."

She eased away from him to see his face. "Thank you Merlin"

He matched her smile and added "Either way, warlock's shouldn't be messing around with his memories anyway, that's just plain rude."

She laughed and the humour sparkled in his eyes. They parted ways, Merlin throwing a stifled "'Night!" over his shoulder and vanishing into his room and Gwen blowing out the final candle and settling into the patient's bed. She lay there for a bit, playing Merlin's words over in her head until she eventually slipped into a much needed sleep.

~o~

"There you are, Gwen. I needed to speak to you." Gaius smiled up from the breakfast table as she stiffly wandered over. She was still in yesterday's clothes and she desperately wanted to change.

"Morning, Gaius." She smiled sleepily back, accepting a chunk of bread and a glass of water.

"I think I may have found a solution for our predicament." Gaius continued, "It happened to come to me in a dream."

"That's awfully convenient." Merlin's voice rang out from inside his room until he eventually appeared, leaning against the doorframe.

"Indeed." Gaius smiled. "I happened to recall the ponderings of a very good friend of mine. Alderfil and I trained together years ago, but even now I remember he had a particular interest in memory spells."

Gwen stiffened. "Spells?"

Gaius looked at her patiently. "We have been dealing with magic from the start, Gwen, there is no natural cause for such specific memory loss. Anyway, this was a time long before the ban of such research."

"So Alderfil?" Merlin prompted impatiently.

Gaius frowned. "Isn't Arthur expecting you?" He sighed when the warlock didn't even waver. "Anyway, Alderfil had a particular interest in memory spells, almost to the point of obsession. Many were rather afraid of him, but I saw him more as… intrepid rather than destructive. I believe that if you two go to Alderfil, he will lend his expertise and offer a solution."

"Seems easy enough." Merlin smiled. "Where about does he live?"

"Last I heard he was situated in the village of Llanchad, a few miles north of Ealdor."

"I remember Llanchad, we visited sometimes to help out in the harvest. It should only take about two days to get there on horseback."

"Then it's settled. You and Gwen will leave for Llanchad tomorrow. I'll write a letter for you to give to Alderfil and try and secure some horses under the ruse you are going on my behalf." Gaius smiled, plucking up his bowl and dropping it in the sink.

"That's great!" Merlin beamed. "I'll go tell Arthur."

"Merlin -" Gwen yelped, mind not caught up as he ran to the door. He was gone, and Gaius laughed softly.

"Don't worry about it Gwen, he won't exactly tell Arthur you're setting off to find a memory retrieving spell."

~o~

Gwen frowned, arms crossed. She had finally got home and changed and had just been preparing to leave for another day of maid duties when Merlin ran up to her blabbering something she didn't want to get her head around right now. "So - what did you tell him?"

"That we were off for private business on Gaius' behalf."

"And he said?" She actually dreaded the answer.

"That in no way running off to elope comes under the excuse 'on Gaius's behalf'"

She sighed, looking down at her feet. "So now I guess I'm going alone."

"Looks like it." Merlin shrugged. "Sorry."

She sucked air in-between her teeth and waved him out quickly. It'd only be a short journey, she comforted herself, but it was still a long haul for one person. That's when she found herself stepping into the old forge.

It was covered in cobwebs and stifling dust, a corpse of its former glory. There was nothing to explain the overwhelming sadness shrouding the place; it ate away at her as she struggled over to a chest on the other side. Releasing the lock easily, she eased the lid up, coughing as the ashes of her past caught in her throat. Rummaging carefully through mismatched belongings, she finally felt a trim of velvet and drew the sword out. Balancing it carefully in its fine slip she locked the chest and admired it for a moment. Her father had never considered it his best, but it glinted magnificently in the stolen sunlight. If she was going alone, she was not a girl to be caught unawares.

* * *

Oh, and i forgot to mention this story will contain spoilers all through season two... sorry :(


	6. C6: And with that, her Quest begins

Sorry for the wait, i've had a really tough first week back and this fic is no longer a priority! Thanks all for reading

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: And with that, her Quest begins.**

He squinted, wondering if his eyes were deceiving him. There was a woman. Her face was smudged and the world was twisted around her, but he could make out she was talking to him. She was telling him off, he knew she was disappointed but her words twisted with the sky. There was a bowl of gruel. He wondered what that dull thud was echoing in his ears. It was swinging back, repeatedly, like a heart beat. He clutched his head and squeezed his eyes shut, wishing the beat away, wishing he knew what was going on. She turned away and he felt a wave of shame. Something ripped and he woke panting.

The dream faded away, the faceless woman dissolving in the bleary outline of his chambers. Arthur dragged a hand through his hair, noting dully it was plastered with sweat. For a moment he tried to remember what had woken him up, but the thought was stolen away as his head hit the pillow once more.

~o~

The next morning seemed to come too fast for Guinevere. She tried to dispel any doubts she had, but try as she might some kept her company all through the night. It was early, not early enough for the castle to be deserted though, as the servants had a duty to herald the day. They went about bringing its welcoming, sizzling meat for the royals' breakfast, collecting the new water from the streams and garnishing the castle in time for the awakening. There was a sociable buzz and comradeship between the early morning workers, something which calmed her nerves greatly.

She stood in the stables, watching the red sun graze the tips of the hills at the very edge of Camelot, and the fleeting shards of light run over the waking city.

"Gwen." A voice came from behind her and Arthur flashed to her mind, but she wasn't surprised to see Merlin when she turned around.

"Ready to go?" He asked, something like regret pinching his tones.

She cast her eyes over the borrowed horse and shifted the pack on her shoulder. "I think so."

"Have you got enough supplies to see you through?" He cast an apprehensive eye over her, taking in her men's trousers and tunic that he swore he recognised. She cast him a steely glance and for a moment, he saw Morgana.

"I have travelled before, Merlin." She says, keeping her voice steady for his sake. Her fingers lightly brushed the sword at her hip and she smiled fleetingly.

He looks troubled, but before he could say any more Gaius rushes in, clutching a sealed roll of parchment. "There you are!" He lightly scolded. "I was worried you'd leave before I could give you this."

She recognised the parchment easily "The letter to Alderfil, of course."

Gaius smiled, placing it in her palm "It should cover anything he needs to know." Her fingers curl around it and took it gently from his hold. "Symptoms, theories and reasoning…"

Gwen nodded, securing it inside her pack. "Thanks for your help." She smiles and acknowledges them, but her voice is cold, determined. She haunches herself up onto the horse and digs her boots into its flank "Oh and Merlin -" She pauses, not looking back as she approached the stable door. "Look after Arthur."

Merlin just looked tired. "Believe me, I'm more than obliged to do so."

~o~

"So what do you think of Princess Rosaline?"

Merlin froze. He knew that tone. He knew it was far too close to the tone Arthur had previously used when enquiring about Sophia. And that was before she had enchanted him to fall in love with her and she had set about drowning him.

"Umm. She's pretty, I suppose." Merlin grimaced, setting his eyes firmly on the boots in front of him. They were in Arthur's chambers, working. Well, Merlin was working and Arthur was 'supervising' him.

"Pretty?" Arthur replies, blankly, pausing for a moment in his pacing to conjure up the image of her face. "Yes, I suppose she is."

Merlin raised his eyebrows. He certainly didn't miss Arthur's girl speculations.

"My father would approve of the match." Arthur started.

"Hang on, hang on. You're not going to marry her!" Merlin shot up, eyes wide. "I mean you can't, just can't. I mean there's Gw-" he caught himself at the sight of Arthur's faintly amused expression.

"So. Why can't I marry her?" He probed, eyes sparkling with malice. "Come on, Merlin, I know your approval makes all the difference."

His servant paused, caught in the headlights. "Well. Umm -"

"Come on, I'm waiting."

"Princess Rosaline, although pretty is -" Merlin started, his best servant voice in play "- Rather secluded and … bookish?" he carried, carefully.

Arthur frowned. "Well, she's a woman, all they do is read and sew anyway."

Merlin's face flashed with annoyance. He hadn't missed the sexism either. "I was just thinking you'd prefer someone more…" he wondered if Gwenish would count as a passable adjective. "Involved?" He tried.

Arthur looked at him. Merlin braced himself. "Involved?" Arthur repeated. "Involved." He mulled it over. "Yes, I suppose that would be nice. Someone who would -"

"-Stop you from being a prat?" Merlin cut across, now really desperate to change the subject.

The Prince scowled at him. "She doesn't think I'm a prat!" He blurted.

Merlin stared at him. Arthur looked confused. A grin slowly trespassed onto Merlin's face. "Who doesn't think you're a prat?" he tested.

Arthur looked even more confused. "I don't know." He replied slowly. "Merlin, is there something I should know?"

His manservant really looked caught out now. But before he could invent something plausible, there was a knock upon the door and a guard entered.

"Sire, you are expected in the great hall for the mid day meal." The nameless man projected.

"Tell my father I will be down in a moment." Arthur cast off, hardly giving the man a double take. The guard bowed and left promptly. Arthur turned back to Merlin. "Well, what are you waiting for?" the boy stared back, mind not caught up. The crowned prince gave an audible sigh. "Get me my jacket!" he explained in his most patronising tone.

Merlin raised an eyebrow as if to say 'really?' walked straight up to him and plucked said jacket from a table literally next to his hand. Arthur growled and snatched it off him before making his way out of the door, servant hot on his trail.

~o~

Rosaline was propped up at the dinner table, her fever was fading but her head was heavy and she was off her food. Her father and King Uther where caught in their own little argument. It was a wonder how they could stand being in the same room as each other, how the whole court hadn't been chucked into the dungeons for a word out of place. She wasn't the only one suspecting their stay was short lived.

Arthur's manservant was staring at her, his suspicion evident. For a moment she panicked, wondering if he suspected her, but she scowled at him instead, her best spoilt scowl. He looked away, expression set in stone.

She didn't know why she had magic. It had always been odd. She would be reading a novel out loud and the words of the sorcerer in the book would flow evenly from her. Her magic was short-lived though, patchy. She had gotten better from playing with the servant's affections, but she was hardly powerful. They were mere tricks of the mind, she couldn't defend herself. She had tried talking to the Court Sorcerer about it, but he had brushed her off. He had always been rude towards her. She shook the thoughts aside and went back to toying with the potato.

~o~

Gwen felt the forest was uninspiring. It was a mass of brown and green, tastelessly clashed together in their fight for sunlight. Only the strong made it through, leaving plants to fade dotted around their feet. She was treading a fairly common path, passing peasants on their way to request an audience with the king, visit relatives or simply flock to the grand city. They pass by without a word or a second glance and she preferred it that way.

Reaching the fork in the road, she turned to the slowly vanishing path, focussing on her route and direction rather than her purpose. Thinking about her purpose only surfaced some previously covered doubts.

Slowly the number of people she passed dwindled, along with the path itself, suffocated under fast spreading weeds. Her breath hitched and she urged the horse on a little further. It was still a way to Ealdor, she had hoped to be a lot closer come nightfall.

She blanched as a cry ricocheted through the trees, followed shortly by a crash of wood splitting. Guinevere reared up on her horse, driving it towards the sound of the battle without a second thought. Her hair broke free from its tie, now flapping with the gait of her horse. She reached a clearing and halted, almost falling over the front at the sight but catching herself in time.

There was a figure, slashing at the beast with a sword, moving too quick for Gwen to register who they were. The creature didn't seem to be getting weaker; it towered over them, head even with the lower branches of the oaks. It was a tank of black fur, punctuated by claws and teeth, far too agile for a beast that size. It brought a paw down on top of the man, who cantered back with fear. Gwen raced forward, sword drawn.

She screamed in anguish, drawing all eyes on her as she stabbed into the beast's flank again and again. For a moment she was the love of the Prince's life, taught to defend herself when he couldn't. For a moment she was Morgana's maid, rallying as they had both snuck away from embroidery. For a moment she was Merlin's best friend, defending a wave of bandits from his home, again and again. For a moment, she was a child, standing in her father's forge as he patiently explained swordsmanship. She was the blacksmith's girl.

She was crying, she realised, crying angry tears as the creature whipped round and threw the other man aside, catching at her arm. Ignoring the pain in her arm and the images of Merlin, Morgana, her father and Arthur flashing through her mind she raised the sword again and felled the beast, blinking furiously as her mind tried to register the massive form falling. It was over too quick, there was blood on her sword but she couldn't work out where it had come from. There was panting, she was panting as she drew herself up, fear and anger ebbing away, replaced by grim acceptance. She didn't turn around, eyes roaming over the shrunken creature. It wasn't as big as it drew its final breath.

"Gwen?" came the voice of the damsel in distress behind her. She recognised it and swore under her breath. Conjuring every last drip of confidence she tightened her hand on the blood soaked sword and turned, her voice brittle.

"Lancelot."


	7. C7: This is how things stand

**CHAPTER SEVEN: This is how things stand**

The sight is peculiar, to say the least. Trees are torn and felled around them, great oaks and cedars defaced with scratches and blood. There is a creature, lifeless and battered yet still formidable. It has a large, arched spine, almost cat-like but with a thick hind and mass of black fur. Its sunken eyes stare off into the fast approaching sunset, body twisted at an odd angle.

Next to it stands a girl, feral and bitter. Her black curls are raging down her back and there are tears stained into her dusky skin. She's wearing men's clothing, darned and splattered with dirt from the battle. There is blood under the fingernails of the hand that holds a sword and blood oozing from a gash in the other arm. Her face is cold as she points the blade definitely, fresh with gore from her last kill, at someone who once meant something to her.

The other man stands awkwardly, unarmed and equally as affected by the battle. He watches her warily, breath hitching at the sheen of the blade.

"Put the sword down, Gwen." His arms are raised in defeat and he captures her eyes solidly.

She is panting, but doesn't move an inch.

"I'm not your enemy, Gwen." He tries, taking a step closer.

"DON'T." She snapped, jolting the sword forward. "Just don't."

He dropped his eyes. "It's funny; you're the last person I'd suspect that would save my life."

She wavered, her sword arm wobbling now. "What's that supposed to mean?" she spat.

"Nothing!" He countered. "It's just I thought you'd want my head on the chopping block after…" he faded out, not looking at her.

She soured. "I didn't know who I was rescuing." She sheathed her sword now and looked off into the distance, searching for the horse. It was a castle horse, used to bloodshed. It can't have gone far.

"You're bleeding." Lancelot stated, eyes drawn to the wound in her arm. He crossed the distance between them and she flinched at his touch. "Let me clean it up."

She drew away, finally spotting the horse in the distance. "I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Please." He begged, fingers curling around her tensed arm even as she turned away. "You received this wound on my behalf, the least I can do is bandage it."

She stood stiffly, tears threatening to fall again. She just wanted to get her horse and go. Go and sort out this horrible mess, go back to Arthur.

He felt her arm relax in his hold and he gently led her away from the body, picking up his sword and checking her horse was following as he went along. She was crying faintly now, relying on him for support. He followed the river away from the clearing and set her down on a log.

He tethered her horse and retrieved his bag, working slowly and deliberately as if he were savouring every moment in her company. She sat on the log ignoring him, even when he sat next to her and gently cleaned her wound. She tensed until the bandage was finished, raising a hand to brush a thumb over the handiwork.

"Thank you." She replied and her voice didn't conceal her gratitude. She was calmer now. There was a pause where Lancelot collected firewood, more for need of something to do rather than the impending darkness. She didn't move from the log the whole time, choosing to watch him work, not trusting her legs to hold her.

"What are you doing out here, anyway?" Lancelot finally said, throwing a lump of wood onto a mismatched fire and now setting about trying to light it. The darkness was closing in now.

She inhaled sharply. "I could ask the same of you, Lancelot."

He bristled at the cold way she said his name, but chose to humour her for the sake of conversation. "After leaving Hengist's castle, I chose to wander the forests in hope of settlement and work. I've been working with the creatures of the forest in order to keep my blade in use."

"So that creature you were fighting was just a test to you, it did no actual harm." Her voice ran with venom.

"I overestimated its strength, it was stupid of me." Lancelot pressed, agitated now.

"It was." Gwen responded, deadpan.

"Thanks again for saving me."

"Sure." She sighed, accepting the mug handed to her. She looked into the dreggy hot drink and sighed deeply. This was not good.

~o~

"You're not going to die, Arthur." Her voice echoed and he was confused. He was dying? "I'm telling you, 'Cause -" she spoke again, and he knew he was dying. There was a searing pain from somewhere he couldn't quite locate. His breathing was laboured and his head was flush with fever.

"I know that one day, you will be king. A good king." He focuses again on the voice. He knows that voice. Does he know that voice? "That's what keeps me going." There is a presence at his bedside, but it comforts him. His fingers twitch as her hands cover his.

"You are going to live to be the man I see inside you, Arthur" her voice is ringing through his head, and there is a thumping in his ears, as with the other dream. He realises, that's his heartbeat, this must be a dream.

"I can see a king who'll be fair and just. A king who everyone will love and be proud of" her voice is fading and he calls to her to keep talking, to help him live, but he doesn't even know her name…

"So for the love of Camelot" she concludes and he is struck with the fear that she will leave. She screams "YOU HAVE TO LIVE!"

Arthur shot up, eyes flashing. But there was no woman by his bedside. There was no pain and he wasn't dying. His head thumped and his bed clothes were sticking to him with sweat.

The Crowned Prince eased himself out of bed and poured a glass of water, raising it tenderly to his lips. For a moment he considered confiding in Merlin about the dream, about this constant feeling something was missing, but he rejected the idea almost immediately. Clambering back into his bed, he lay there for a while, trying to make sense of it all. He fell asleep soon after with her voice vibrating through his mind.

~o~

It was very dark now, and for the first time that day Gwen betrayed herself by being thankful for Lancelot's company. The fire was needed and she didn't feel at risk, at least he could defend her. They had withheld a necessary silence. It was awkward for Lancelot, but Gwen found she couldn't care for pleasantries at this point.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't regret leaving. I believe I did the right thing."

She doesn't even have to ask, because both of them know. "Why did you leave, Lancelot?" Her voice is dead. She doesn't make any effort to look up from her now empty mug.

He sighs. He expected this. "I left because some things can never be."

She snorts. "I know that,_ Merlin_ told me." He winces at the friction.

"I admit I took the coward's way out, but it would have hurt too much to say good bye in person."

She laughs, harshly. "Oh, it would have hurt too much, would it? Where did it leave me? With shattered promises and memories." Her voice is so bitter, his heart pains.

"Why are you here, Gwen?" He tries again, keeping the distance between them as he remembers the sword fastened to her hip.

"It's none of your business." She resigns, without a second though.

"Why are you running away from Camelot?" His brain whirrs now and he finds himself rising to his feet, hand on sword. "What did he do?"

"What did WHO do?!" She shies away from him, looking confused.

"Arthur!" Lancelot spat, eyes now filled with hatred "What did he do, I thought I made the right decision leaving you to him!!"

"You what?!" Gwen yelps, leaping to her feet.

"That bastard. I'll kill him!!" Lancelot flares, punching at the air. "How dare he hurt you! He must have hurt you. I can't believe he would!"

Gwen gapes open mouthed. "_You left because of Arthur?!_"

He catches her expression and he softens immediately. "Of course, the affection was apparent between you two."

"But-" She tries to absorb this information, still staring at him.

"He's a prince, Gwen!" He justifies, to her incredibility. "He could offer so much more than I could! I would not come between you."

"He could offer nothing, Lancelot." She glared. "He could offer nothing _because_ he is a Prince. Whereas you -" She started and he took a few hasty steps back despite the fire separating them. "You could have given me a home, a family! You could have stopped me from thinking 'what if?'"

He pauses. "You thought about me?"

She gives a cry of rage. "Of course I did! You rescued me, you promised me so much then you just left! I care for Arthur, I always have done but nothing can happen between us."

He looks at her darkly. "What did he do? How did he upset you?"

She deflates then, sinking back onto the log. "He hasn't done anything." She replies, her voice soft now, barely audible.

He sinks down as well, but stiffly, a hand on his sword hilt. "Then why are you running?"

She looks at him then, eyes swimming with emotions. "I'm not running. I'm doing an errand for Gaius."

"This far out?" He counters, spreading his arms wide to indicate the area around them.

Guinevere looks away. "I didn't question it."

He nods slowly, but something is eating at him. He tends to the fire, prodding it to no avail. "So, you and Arthur?" He treads.

She stares into the fire, watching the flames. "I won't deny I care for him and believe he does so for me."

"Beyond the bounds of propriety?" Lancelot presses, infused now.

"Perhaps." She responds dully. Stolen moments flicker through her mind, as that feeling _he_ gives her flutters in her chest. She longs for him.

Lancelot sinks back, knowing that's all he'll get on the subject. He can't shake the feeling something has happened between them, but he sinks back all the same.

"And your affections for me?" He finds himself asking out of no accord of his own.

She looks at him, just looks at him and he knows it's over. "Are best left to die, as you have already made it quite apparent nothing can happen between us."

He flinches at her proper tone and responds with more malice than intend. "Spoken like a true Queen."

* * *

**A/N** I'm not sure i did Lancelot right =/ I never paid too much attention to him, he annoyed me. Anyway, thanks for all your support so far, I really appriciate it!


	8. C8: The Past is a Ghost

My apologies this is so absurdly late (well, certainly to my mind) but school is really kicking in for me now. I've recently struggled through my French speaking exam (god, that was AWFUL!) and thankfully it is another fortnight until my exams really make themselves known. I hope to get this story done before the end of June, but i just cannot prioritise it over my GCSEs! Anyway, you're not here for a sob story. On with the chapter!

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: The Past is a Ghost, The Future a dream. All we ever have is now.**

Gwen woke the next morning, stiff and troubled. She hobbled to the nearby river and washed her face and neck whilst her eyes adjusted to the blood red sunrise. She would have to get to Llanchad today and most definitely without Lancelot tagging along. She sighed, shoulders drooping as she made her way back to the remains of the campfire.

He was still asleep and curled into himself like a worm at the wrath of a blackbird. She drew her eyes slowly over his sleeping form, the matted brown hair and the faint muzzle of stubble dotting his chin. It seemed so familiar. Something tugged at her and she turned away, feeling like she was intruding.

Gradually, she went about collecting her belongings, soothing her horse and tidying as she went. It would seem odd to try and tidy up a forest formed on the bases of leaf litter, but to the devote servant it became an excuse to preoccupy her hands.

Finally, she took one last look at the sleeping knight and stepped up onto the horse, struggling with guilt and responsibility. The Queen rode away from Lancelot for the first time, a strong, unexplainable sense of foreboding wringing her dry.

~o~

"And where have you been?" Merlin scowled, folding his arms over his chest.

Arthur pulled a face, tugging off his dark brown jacket and addressing the boy. "Merlin, you're not my father. Cut the parent act and go fold my clothes or something."

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Fine then. Don't tell me why I went down to see you at the end of training and the knights said you'd already left. With Princess Rosaline."

Arthur shrugged. "Well then you already know where I was. With Princess Rosaline." Merlin looked at him, silently attending the washing pile. Arthur gave an irritated sigh. "She has been with fever for a few days now and was desperate to get some fresh air, so I went for a ride with her. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself, you know."

Merlin snorted loudly, holding up one of the Princes' shirts. "Says the man who can't even fold his own clothes." _Or be alive right now if it weren't for me… _he silently added, folding the shirt precisely.

"Folding clothes will hardly save my life one day, Merlin." Arthur growled, pottering around uselessly.

"I'd go out of my way to make sure it does, for the sake of irony." Merlin muttered from behind another shirt.

"What?"

Merlin cleared his throat and spoke loudly "Did anything odd happen?"

"Oh." Arthur pottered about his room, pouring himself a glass of water and finally settling in his chair. "Yes, actually." He responds thoughtfully, tipping the water in his glass like fine wine. "I mentioned a dream I had recently and she burst into tears"

"A dream?"

"Yeah. She kept saying sorry over and over again, but she wouldn't tell me why she was apologising. In the end she decided she should go back to bed." Arthur pondered glass of water long forgotten.

"Arthur, the dream?" Merlin pressed, paused in mid-fold.

"Oh right. It's nothing really," He downed the water, throat gurgling. When he brought the glass back down, his face was once again thoughtful. "I was dying." His face twisted with concentration "And there was a woman by my bed."

Merlin's head snapped round to look at the Prince.

"She was saying things like… I'm going to live to be the man she sees inside me."

"Do you know who she was?" Merlin cut across, urgently.

"No." Arthur laments. "Everything was dark. But I've dreamt about her before, I think."

Merlin blinked. "You think?"

"Yeah. Her voice was so familiar." For a moment, he holds the pose, face moulded as he thinks deeply. Then something shifts and he lifts out of the chair, crossing the room to draw another glass of water. "Anyway. Shouldn't you be cleaning my armour or something?"

Merlin let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "Yes, sire."

Arthur grinned cockily and reached up to ruffle Merlin's hair. "Good little manservant"

~o~

Guinevere reached Llanchad a few hours before sundown. She stood at the top of the valley for a second, looking down on the smattering of houses. It was hardly a village; it was too smothered by fields and flora. At first she had wondered if she had truly reached her destination. It was run down, battered and seemingly unoccupied.

She stepped down from her horse and trod carefully towards the gaunt little place, knuckles turning white as she gripped the reins. There were a few houses, all obtrusively broken and a stray cat, thin and ragged wound her way piteously around the ruins. She jumped as a woman emerged from a house.

The lady wove past, paying no mind to the stranger. She was well built and fed, a basket of clothes straddled under her arm and a matted handkerchief tying her brown hair away from her face. There was a large gash of a scar slashed across her features, leaving one of her eyes half-closed. Gwen spoke up.

"Excuse me; is this the village of Llanchad?" She looked around, curiously, as if expecting a huge sign to point out a wizard's house.

The woman paused and stared at her suspiciously. "It is indeed, what business do you have here?"

Gwen fidgeted, now blatantly aware of the blood on her men's clothing and her well-fed castle horse. "I'm seeking a man by the name of Alderfil, would you happen to know where I could find him?"

The woman frowned at her, scrutinising her face as if detecting for lies. "Any man called Alderfil or an Alderfil in particular?"

It took Gwen to figure out what she meant and she flushed. "An Alderfil in particular, I'm delivering a letter for him."

The woman smiled then, much to Gwen's relief, but it was a hollow, pitying smile. "Well then, I'm sorry dear. I've lived here all my life and I haven't ever heard of anyone by the name of Alderfil."

Gwen sighed, absently playing with the reins in her hands. "Thank you for your help anyway." And the woman nodded and walked on, basket still in hand. She vanished shortly after, a blur of rags in fields of grey.

"You're searching for Alderfil?" Gwen jumped, hand on hilt as a voice popped out of the shadows. "Woah, woah, put the sword down, missy; you'll have someone's eye out."

She squinted as a figure emerged from behind a house. He held his hands out in surrender, but from the smile in his eyes she felt he wasn't truly scared. Gwen, on the other hand was breathing raggedly, staring at the man.

"That woman hasn't lived in Llanchad all her life. In fact she was brought up not far from where you're from." He gestured to the horse, which happened to have a Camelot seal blazoned on its reins. Gwen watched him fearfully, eyes flickering over him with the sword still outstretched. "But she didn't lie to you. She just doesn't remember. Which -" he stepped further out of the shadows, revealing a face lined with age but an upright figure proclaiming good health. "-Is vital for her to be able to start a new life here. Her childhood was broken with abuse, it fares her to believe she received that scar from a farming accident."

"Who are you?" She gasped, sword had shaking.

The man smiled toothily. "Well, isn't it obvious? I'm Alderfil."

~o~

There are flickers of images; a house, well-light but basic, a tournament in flashes of red and gold and a woman; the same woman, the woman from the dreams before. Arthur recognises her voice now and the familiar emotion stirred within him. It is at first warm, so he smiles blissfully in his comatose as snatches of conversation flutter through his mind. Then it twists and his heart is pounding and she is turning away. He must be screaming for her, longing for her and he is running but she is too far away. She is all around him, a smell of flowers, a touch on his lips then something rips and he is awake.

"Arthur?" He blinks blearily, making out his father's concerned face. "Arthur!!" He's being shaken.

"Wha…?" He collects himself, registering the ceiling of the grand hall and the collective distressed faces of the court. He shakes himself, mind not caught up. "I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep." He blurts. He hears Merlin's voice somewhere above him, gabbling about lack of sleep due to nightmares. Something is missing. Someone is missing. His vision goes black.


	9. C9: Memories are the Province of the old

**CHAPTER NINE: Memories are the Province of the old.**

Guinevere was not sure what she had envisioned a sorcerer's house to be like, but this was far from it. It was a little way away from Llanchad, a lonesome cottage embedded in the hills. Like the other houses, it was visibly run down but there was something holding the rotten wood frame together and keeping the slip-shod little place upright.

Inside, it wasn't much better. Every available surface was blanketed with books and papers and vials of things Gwen didn't want to question. The papers were unorganised, scattered haphazardly across the small room or shuffled into incomprehensible piles. There were half full cups of solidifying tea and other abandoned projects stacked around. Frankly, the place was a tip.

Put into context, Alderfil was everything Gaius had promised; intrepid rather than destructive. He wore dusty noble men's clothes which hung awkwardly from his frame and finished short above his wrinkled old ankles. He busied himself almost immediately upon entrance to his home, freeing a stool for Gwen to sit on, lighting a stove and fetching some tea leaves. She watched him almost fearfully; he worked at a pace superior to Gaius' and hardly acknowledged her presence at all.

She shifted on the wooden stool and gratefully accepted the cup that was handed to her. He presented a spoonful of tea leaves to her and met her questioning gaze. He grinned brokenly.

"Some people prefer to see what goes into their drink, it eases their worries." She nodded, not wishing to understand, and added the leaves herself. "So –"he paused to study her over the rim of his mug. "- What is it that you want?"

She shifted again, this time to bring out the parchment hidden in her bag. "I carry a letter from Gaius."

His eyebrows raise and he lifted the letter out of her hands. "You were serious about that? That is most odd." She didn't ask, he just carried on. "Oh, I get all sorts of masquerades. 'Just enquiring about a relative's health' or 'was in the area'…" he mimicked, his voice taking on an odd tone that couldn't represent anyone else's. "My business isn't a widely appreciated one. Generally I get the most desperate of people." He regarded Guinevere then, and once more she felt conscious of her attire. He paused and put the letter aside, unopened. "Now let's see… Gaius, Gaius Gaius." With each syllable he paced the room, considering books littered around the room. Finally, with an exaggerated flourish he plucked a royal blue volume from a pile. Gwen could just make out the gilded lettering:

'_Diary. Pre-Purge and Pre-pre purge years._'

He flicked the book open and flashed a few leaves before his eyes until he found the page he wanted. He read, and she watched his eyes follow the script. Satisfied, he clicked the book shut and placed it back on its mound.

"Ahh, yes, Gaius. Dear, dear friend." He fluttered, seizing the letter once more and opening it brutishly. Gwen sat back, hands warmed around the porcelain cup as she watched him read the letter through. His face faded through patterns as he absorbed the words, at first his interest peaked but waning through the formalities. Nearing the middle of the roll his curiosity is drawn again, the interest sparkling in his ethereal blue eyes, then it fades to a business like expression; a face of someone whose mind is made up. He smiled at some unknown jester and he rolls the parchment back into itself. "How typical of Gaius."

"Huh?" Gwen looked up at the man's twinkling eyes, her fear pitching again.

"He's friendly enough but always has a purpose" He grinned. "I'm willing to help you retrieve this man's memories of you."

She flushed then. "Oh- Thank you."

He lifted himself up and started rummaging through his many belongings. "So, he's been having headaches and feelings of being incomplete. Any vivid dreams at all?" He addressed Guinevere and she scrambled for an answer.

"Not as far as I'm aware."

"Fair enough, it's a pretty usual symptom but whether the person remembers or not is based on the severity of the spell" He doesn't look up from the book he's scouring. "hmm…" he threw the book aside and picked up another. "My guess is that it's pretty amateur. Headaches are forgivable, even the best sorcerer can't avoid that side affect, but a feeling that something is missing? Amateur."

"Oh." Gwen felt she should say something. "Is that good?"

"Mostly good." He nodded and referred to some papers. "It means it's very treatable, but-" he cut in before she could feel relieved. "Memories are incredibly delicate things. A poorly conducted spell can have long lasting repercussions, and some memories might be completely lost."

She's wasn't sure how to take this, so she watched him pace his little house through the steam rising from her cup and tried not to focus on those last words - _some memories might be completely lost_. He broke off a scrap of parchment and began to scrawl.

He signed with a sweep of his quill and shoved it towards her. The title read:

'_Evoke Tea'_

She looked up, startled. He smiled at her.

"Never underestimate the power of tea."

She stared into the cup she has just finished and felt faint. Now she truly understood what he meant by 'Some people prefer to see what goes into their drink'

He was completely unfazed by her reaction, slapping his hands together and busying himself shuffling papers on the table. Gwen sat awkwardly for a moment, before getting up to leave. Their business was done.

"Thank you, Alderfil." She half-curtsied, bobbing awkwardly at the old man. As she turned to leave, he called out for her.

"Oh and-" She turned, seeing his hand outstretched in a position to pull her back. "- I can't guarantee that the potion will work. I have…" He paused, scratching the back of his head shyly "… more experience in eradicating memories rather than retrieving them."

She stared at him fearfully. He didn't meet her eyes.

"Of course -" He paused, looking up at her now. "- If it doesn't work out… my services will always be free of charge to you."

Hey eyes widened at the meaning behind his words hit her. Could she possibly do that? Delete all her memories of Arthur? She shook her head. "I don't think there will be any need. Thank you anyway."

He nodded, the flicker of hope distinguished. Guinevere took that as her cue to leave, and walked out the door, wondering why she had that horrible sense of foreboding again.

~o~

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Servants were flung aside as Uther stormed down the hall, face full of fury. "My son! Camelot's heir! The future king! I will not stand for it!"

Gaius scurried behind him, resembling Merlin a little as he kept up with the king's wrath. "Sire, it is probable Arthur is dehydrated. We have no proof-"

"I have proof enough. I want them out of my kingdom NOW!" Uther screeched, startling a young maid who ran off quickly with tears just prickling at her eyes.

Gaius stammered "Sire, is that wise? We are so close to gaining an alliance -"

Uther stopped abruptly, wheeling round on Gaius. "What use is an alliance to some vagrant magic supporters?"

His advisor flinched at the vemon in Uther's voice. "Very well, throw them out. But I hasten to remind you that King Carmen might be enticed into war."

Uther scowled, knowing that Gaius was right. He swept round and down the hall before disappearing around the corner. Gaius sighed, before following a few paces behind.

From her crevice in the wall, Princess Rosaline let out her breath. She was flat against the stone, trying to remain unseen. She stood in the alcove for a moment, listening to the footsteps go past and trying to gauge whether it was safe to slip out yet. Finally, there was a lull in the pace and she glided out of her hiding space.

The servants paid her no mind as she tottered past them towards her chambers. They were too busy over exceeding at their job and she didn't attempt eye contact. She made it to her chambers untroubled and slammed the door shut. She leant against it for a bit, eyes shut with mental and physical exhaustion. She wasn't stupid, she had suspected their stay in Camelot would be short lived. Yet still, she felt she was seeing her destiny fall before her eyes. Then, she realised she wasn't alone.

She opened her eyes slowly and eased herself off the oak frame of the door. She couldn't see the intruder, but she could feel him. Feel his magic. Her eyes flickered gold as she tried to hone in on her senses, but nothing came of it. Cursing under her breath, she took the human option instead. "Who's there?"

There was no response (not really a surprise) so she tried again. "I know you're there. I won't call the guards."

Nothing.

"I know you have magic. But I do too. We're the same, you and I." She said out loud.

"We are not the same." A firm voice reprimanded. He walked out of the servant's antechamber and met her stare straight on. "We will never be the same." Merlin glared.

She frowned at the sight of him. Arthur's manservant? Well this was a surprise. "What do you want?" She crossed her arms and watched him.

"I could ask the same of you." He snapped back. She didn't say anything, waiting for him to elaborate. He relented, staring at her accusingly "Arthur's unconscious."

"And that's somehow my fault?" She said, incredulously.

"Yes!" Merlin yelled. "You put a spell on him! I know you did!"

She stiffened. "You have no proof."

"I don't need proof. Uther's going to throw you out of Camelot either way."

"Then what are you doing in my chambers?" She pointed. "If not looking for proof?"

He wavered a bit, but pulled himself together. "I need you to tell me what spell you put on him." She stared. He continued. "At first I thought it was just a memory spell, but now I'm thinking it's a lot, lot worse."

_That's funny, so did I… _She stared at him, loosing track of the conversation as her mind tried to conjure an answer.

"Why did you do it, Rosaline?" He asked, eyes burning into her. "Why?"

"Why?" She screamed back. "WHY?" She stood for a moment, breath hitching. Then, her eyes flashed gold and she yelled. "LACUNAR AMORAY!"

* * *

:) Still writing. I'm aiming to update at least every two weeks, but GCSE exams...


	10. C10: We have, I fear, confused power

**CHAPTER TEN: We have, I fear, confused power with greatness**

Merlin stared at her as the magic fizzled over him. "What just happened?"

She smiled, but it was a dark smile. There was no warmth or happiness behind that evil grin. "Like Arthur, You have forgotten the one you love."

He squinted at her, his mind whirring. There was a pause. "No, I haven't." And her grin was gone, just like that. He smiled then, caught in a conversation with himself. "Nope. Freya, Morgana, Gwen." He checked them off mentally "They are all candidates but no-one's missing."

"But -" She dropped her hands to her side, looking furious now. "- It worked with Arthur!"

"Wait -" He said, holding a hand out. He paused, and looked at her, his arm bending back into him a bit. "Who's Arthur?"

She stared. "Your master?"

He held the pose for a bit, then he couldn't help it but grin. "Kidding! You would have done me a favour if I had forgotten him. Still, better luck next time. DROS GWTHIO!" He yelled, eyes flashing gold as the princess was flung off her feet.

There was just enough time for his arm to fall back to his side and his eyes to flicker back to blue before the guards burst into the room.

"You are under arrest!"

They hauled Princess Rosaline off the floor and locked her arms behind her back. She was still conscious, but barely so. A guard viciously yanked Merlin's arms behind his back, bending him back. A dark, hellish voice whispered into his ear "Think how the prince is going to react when he finds his precious little servant is a Sorcerer."

~o~

Gwen had left into the night, not caring about safety or sleep. The whole experience with Alderfil had left fuel for her mind to burn, to twist and splinter every word he made in the hope to make some sense out of them. She had committed the tea recipe to memory and gone over the conversation so many times she wished someone else was there to confirm the little details she struggled to remember. She let out a frustrated groan, and drew the horse on further.

She was in Ealdor now, the little village was much more of a comfort than Llanchad had ever been. She recognised the housing layout even in the dark, and felt a twinge of guilt she hadn't visited since the bandits so many moons ago. She teased the horse into a trot, trying to keep its footfalls as quiet as possible as she cut through the silent village. It was the dead of night now.

However, someone was awake. Hunith held the white stem of the candle high as she approached the figure on the horse. Her nightdress flapped around her ankles in a playful breeze. The figure turned and she let out a gasp.

"Gwen?"

"Hunith!" Gwen gasped, launching herself off the horse and into the Merlin's mother's arms. Hunith grinned and patted the girl's back with her spare hand. She held the candle aloft and away from their hair. "I'm so sorry if I woke you." Gwen apologised, passionately, staring up at the older woman with unabashed guilt.

"Nonsense Gwen. But do come in before you wake the rest of the village." Hunith offered, stepping back from Gwen. "Tether your horse by the side, come in and have a drink."

"I couldn't take advantage of your hospitality, I was just passing through." Gwen replied, genuinely.

"Either way, you shouldn't be travailing in the night. It's dangerous. I insist you stay." Hunith reprimanded firmly, leading the girl in by the crook of her elbow.

Gwen gave into the steering easily, more than grateful to see a friendly face. They stepped into the little hut Hunith called home and Gwen felt a wave of nostalgia. She hadn't known Merlin through his childhood, but it suddenly seemed so probable to see the little boy tearing around the place.

"So -" Hunith was putting a kettle on and securing blankets at the same time, flush with that silly need to be overly hospitable. "- what brings you over here? Is everything okay back at Camelot?"

Gwen crossed over to the small kitchen area, leaving her bag at the door "Yeah -" she mulled, helping with the tea despite Hunith's complaints, "Everything is fine at home. Merlin's fine." She clarified.

The older woman wasn't convinced. She looked at Gwen long and hard, debating whether to question the girl further or leave it there. She looked back down into her tea. "That's good to know."

"I shouldn't keep you up… I'll just finish this and go…" Gwen stammered, holding onto the mug.

Hunith smiled, warmly. "Don't be silly, Gwen. You are staying. I wouldn't sleep knowing you were out there alone."

Gwen watched her warily, the candle light flickering over the older womans face. She swallowed tightly and nodded. Hunith smiled, and pulled her into a warm hug. Gwen smiled into her arms, a feeling of serenity taking her over for the first time in a long while.

"Thank you" Gwen choked on the wave of emotion approving of this decision. Hunith nodded and drew back.

She smiled softly at Gwen, and squeezed her hands. "Now. We both need some sleep. I'll set up Merlin's bed for you and we can talk in the morning."

~o~

The cell was three stone walls, and bars. There was no window or natural light present so there was no gauge of time passing. The floor was littered with animal straw and the porous fibres were stained with blood. It took a moment for Merlin to figure out where he was. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because a breakfast tray was pushed through the bars.

"So, you're the princes' manservant." He looked up to the voice, and realised he was not alone. King Carmen was sat opposite him, with an ease that firmly suggested he was used to life in Uther's cells. He was rested against the wall opposite Merlin, one leg drawn up and the other out straight. Food was forgotten.

Merlin nodded, blindly, not sure what he was supposed to say to the demoted royal sitting opposite him.

"It must be hard." The king added, watching the young man curiously.

Merlin wondered if he where talking about their current predicament or looking after Arthur. He settled for the latter. "It is."

"You seem very dedicated to your job" Carmen observed, drawing his knees up and folding his legs together. "It must be hard being accused of sorcery."

Merlin turned to look at him then, a light smile on his face. "You would know. You're being accused of sorcery too."

Carmen returned his smile. "True. But you have worked for the Prince for -" his eyes flickered over the warlock as if his mere physical appearance could tell him all "- so many years? This accusation could mean the end of your career, and all careers after that." He shifted soundlessly "I, on the other hand, have a way out; I have my kingdom behind me."

Merlin mulled over his words, and shrugged nonchalantly. Now his attention was turned on this King, curiosity hitting him once more.

The king nodded. "Unless, of course, you are a sorcerer." Merlin immediately tensed, and stared at him. Carmen laughed lightly. "I don't know what happened between you and my daughter before you got thrown in here, but I'm not a fool."

"Only a fool would discuss something like this in a Camelot cell."

Carmen's eyebrows raised, but the King said nothing.

Merlin realised his mistake and bowed his head quickly. "My apologies, sire. My tongue got away from me." His voice was dry with tired deference.

Carmen shook it aside. "It's quite all right. I can understand your predicament."

Merlin resisted the urge to snort.

The two men sat in companionable silence. Merlin's temper fizzled away to meaningless thoughts, questions of whether Arthur would want his chambers cleaned again, or Gaius would want some more herbs or something. His thoughts finally rested on Gwen, and he realised with a twinge of guilt he must have slept through the night. He wondered where she was, and if she was okay. He wondered if she had found Alderfil yet. He sighed, and tried to swallow down the mild fear that bubbled up in him for her.

Carmen, like so many before him, was burdened with the challenge of unravelling the enigma that was Merlin. He was a servant. Well versed and with a strong presence, but still a servant. It occurred to Carmen that he was hiding something. Whether it was something like magic or something like a penny taken from a begging pot he didn't know. But he didn't like to stare. The more he looked the more questions erupted in his mind and the more he tried to decipher this man from looks alone, which wasn't healthy or justified. He would have to get him to talk.

"You know, magic has always been welcomed in my realm." He chances, watching the man for reaction. "If you were to be sentenced to death now I would be happy to smuggle you out."

Merlin stared. "Why would you do that? You don't know if I'm even a sorcerer or not."

It was Carmen's turn to shrug. "I disagree with Camelot's sorcerer policy. Sorcerer or not, you've been treated poorly and I would like to offer you a chance to start again." he baited, watching the other man carefully. "You would be welcomed. There might even be a position in our court for you."

For a moment, the other man's face was open with hope, a shine returning to his eyes as the image played in his mind. Then, from outside the cells, there was a very angry voice.

"Oh for lord's sake! I train you to catch sorcerers, not my manservant!"

Merlin's face crashed in on itself and was once more the spitting image of a tired servant. He looked towards the cell bars wistfully. "I'm afraid my loyalties lie here."

* * *

And hurray hurray! I reached chapter ten! I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed and subscribed to story alerts, it's really driven me forward with this fic.

... And so, Gwen could go back to Alderfil and get Arthur erased from her memory, and Merlin could go to King Carmen's land-of-we-like-sorcerers (i really can't find a decent name for this place, i've been dodging the bullet for too long) and it'd all be very sad.

I have been considering a bitter sweet ending to this fic...


	11. C11: The ones worth suffering for

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: You've just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.**

There is a woman, but a different woman to the one before. It is Morgana, her face red with tears and she wears nothing but her slip. She stares at Arthur tearfully for a moment, then she shakes her head slowly. The world crashes. He's running, no, riding, through the forest and there is a castle and a grand hall full of men. They clank their tankards and the rhythmic beat sounds through the Prince's ears, like a heart beat. There is a scuffle and he realises it is the woman from before. But there isn't the same feeling as before. It's not warm, or loving. Its hurt and pain and confusion. She stares and he knows she knows. Her mouth opened and he strained to hear what she said, but something ripped and he woke up.

He sat for a moment, adjusting to his surroundings. The curtains were still drawn, but now blocked out strong bars of morning light. He scowled to himself. _Where the hell was that manservant?_

Arthur squinted and raised a hand to shield his eyes, vaguely aware his head was throbbing. He had almost expected to wake in the noon again, with his father fretting at his bedside and Gaius trying not to roll his eyes in the shadows. He cringed at the still fresh memory of him fainting.

Arthur pushed the thoughts aside and moved himself out of bed, retrieving a cup of water. Come to think of it, he had barely seen Merlin at all recently. The idiot had squawked something about 'fixing this' and left. He cringed again and downed the water, a particularly foul mood enveloping him.

"Sire!" A perky, far too high and irritating voice slapped him round the head. A boy, now muttering something along the lines of 'oh no oh no oh no' was scurrying towards him. "You are to stay in bed today, sire! Your father, the king, insists!" He squeaked.

Arthur glared at him, pushing the headache aside. "Where's my real servant?"

The boy faltered. "He's in the dudgeons, sire, some guards heard him performing magic."

"Magic?" Arthur swore under his breath "We're talking about Merlin here. About yea high, stupid ears?" He gestured wildly at the bewildered servant. "You know? Trips over his feet all the time?" When the boy offered no explanation, he batted him aside, now in an even fouler mood (if possible). _Merlin what on earth have you done now?_

~o~

Gwen's eyelids slowly flickered open, her whole body shifting in the effort to shake itself awake. It took her a while to work out where she was, the house was too spacious to be her own and the severe lack of books suggested she wasn't in the court physician's chambers. She yawned and shifted herself into a sitting position.

"Good morning." Greeted Hunith, smiling over at her from the kitchen table. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, thank you" she murmured, her mind racing as she gingerly lifted herself out of the bed.

Hunith repeated her light smile. "I'm very glad to hear it." Gwen landed herself in the chair opposite Hunith, who handed her a chunk of bread. "Eat this. You need to keep your strength up."

Gwen obligingly ate, eyes wandering over the squat little home. Her eyes finally rested on the single window looking out over the street. Already the villagers were proceeding with their daily business, grain bags and farmer's tools slung over their shoulders whilst the sun got away from them.

"It's going to rain today." Hunith noted, calmly slicing another chunk of bread. "You'll have to leave early to avoid the worst of it."

Gwen nodded. "Camelot isn't so far away. If I ride all night I should make it by the next morning."

Hunith smiled. "Well, if that's the plan we'd better get moving. Now -" She snapped her hands together and grinned at the girl. "I think you should borrow some of Merlin's old clothes and I should re-bandage that arm so you're not walking around looking like you need desperate medical attention, okay?"

Gwen laughed, looking down at the beast's blood still splattered over her shirt. "That would be preferable, thank you Hunith."

The older woman grinned and settled down next to her, water bowl and cloth at the ready. "Now I promised myself I wouldn't ask, but what on earth are you doing out here?"

Gwen smiled, not feeling any pressure from the question. "Well, I'm not sure I want to elaborate but basically a certain prat has been causing me trouble."

~o~

Prince Arthur stormed down into the dungeons, fresh with fury.

The guards were standing by the door nervously. Arthur glared. _Why hadn't they moved yet?_ He looked into the cells and saw Merlin sitting there piteously.

"Oh for lord's sake! I train you to catch sorcerers, not my manservant!" The guards jumped visibly, desperately avoiding eye contact with the enraged prince. Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his mussed hair. "Get him out of there."

"Sire, your father -" One stammered.

"- Should know better. Does that sack of bones look like a sorcerer to you?" he gestured at Merlin, who was now standing up on the other side of the bars. "No, didn't think so." He snatched the keys from the guards and plugged them in the lock immediately

"Sire, we heard him ourselves. We were on our way to arrest Princess Rosaline, he was in her chambers."

Arthur's hand paused. He turned to Merlin, who froze as all eyes turned on him.

Arthur watched him closely. "Merlin -" he paces "- What were you doing in Princess Rosaline's chambers?"

Merlin gaped for a bit, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Arthur growled. "You know I'm starting to think this little stint in the cells will do you some good!"

And miraculously, the manservant found a voice. "I was just doing a quick favour for her maid!" Arthur stared. "She forgot something… a hair tie!" He stammered, very clearly making it up as he went along "I just went to pick it up for her!"

A moment passed as the Prince stared at him disbelievingly "A hair tie."

Merlin blinked. "Yes. I'll have you know Gracey was very upset about it."

The other guard stepped forward, peering up at his liege. "You don't seriously buy these lies do you?"

Arthur looked from Merlin to the guard and back. Then a new voice spoke up.

"It's my fault." They all looked towards the second, forgotten prisoner who had been watching from the shadows.

"King Carmen." Arthur acknowledged, bowing his head and looking suitably confused.

Carmen nodded shortly in response. His eyes were set as he explained "I heard your father was set on throwing us out. I saw the boy walking past and told him to warn Rosaline. He was in her chambers because of me."

Arthur looked questioningly at Merlin; who had just managed to straighten his face into something that didn't suggest this was also news to him. Arthur gestured to the guards "But that doesn't explain why these half-wits are convinced he's a sorcerer."

To everyone's shock, Carmen laughed. "A Sorcerer?" He guffawed, hunching over with laughter. "That's why he's in here?" Arthur wasn't the only one looking a little scared now. The King straightened up and clung to the wall. "I'm sorry but -" he waved a lax arm at Merlin, face still lined with laughter "I've seen plenty of sorcerers in my time and he is most definitely not one."

Merlin caught on and laughed heartily. Arthur looked from the king to his now amused manservant. "A sorcerer? Me?" He laughed. "Then why on earth would I be living in Camelot?"

"Exactly!" Carmen erupted. "It's a death wish! No sorcerer is as stupid and reckless as that!"

"Nope!" Merlin's eyes sparkled at the joke. "Who would be that reckless?"

"Merlin, you've battled against a giant dragon despite having possibly the worst sword skills I've ever seen, you've downed a drink knowing it was poisonous and you never, ever call me by my title. I think you're about as reckless as they get." Arthur deadpanned.

Merlin grinned, oblivious to the startled expression of King Carmen behind him. "_Possibly_ the worst sword skills?"

Arthur huffed. "Fine then, _the_ worst sword skills I've ever seen. It's a wonder you're still alive."

"I count my blessings every day" Merlin quipped, and Arthur turned the key in the lock, freeing him at last.

"You know, if you turn out to be a sorcerer now, I'm going to be so annoyed."

Merlin grimaced and cast a glance at King Carmen, whose eyes sparkled with amusement. _Just great!_

_

* * *

_I. HATE. TRANSITIONAL. CHAPTERS.

I have such a tendency to linger on one scene or situation for ages, then I think of another great one and can't for the life of me figure out how to run them together.

Still, I knew if i poked at this chapter too long there would be nothing left so here goes!


	12. C12: Of Angels and Angles

**CHAPTER TWELVE: Of Angels and Angles**

It started slowly at first, as the rain does; a drop here and there on Guinevere's steed. The haphazard patterns the sun cast were gracefully declining as the thick, smoggy clouds obscured their view. Gwen was on the main path now, but there wasn't a peasant or peddler in sight.

She ignored the rain, choosing again to occupy her mind with reliving her conversation with Alderfil. She was intent upon analysing his every characteristic, his every detail, his every snip of information. Visting Hunith had smudged her memory and she feared forgetting something, in case it meant Arthur would never remember her again. She realised her hands were curled so tightly into the reins they were beginning to chaff.

Finally, the heavens opened with a flash of lightning cutting through the sky. Gwen jumped, her horse buckling back. She desperately clung to its neck, feeling it rear upwards. A roar of thunder and she buried her face in its mane, the muscles underneath her jolting as the horse stampeded.

She could only hope that they were going in the right direction as the fat droplets pummelled down her back, mingling with her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut, they were going too fast. Another rumble of thunder and the horse runs ever on.

~o~

"Merlin! Where have you been? We need to leave NOW!" Arthur roared as the servant scuttled forward. "The knights have already left, we need to catch up."

"Sorry, sorry…" Merlin chanted, launching himself a little too enthusiastically at his horse and only just straightening himself. "I was talking to Gaius, telling him why I was in the cells last night."

"Well that was hardly my fault!" Arthur contented, kicking his steed into a trot. Merlin followed suit, weaving through the marketplace behind his liege. "My father wants King Carmen escorted out of the kingdom by tomorrow. Frankly, I want him out before this blasted rain starts up." Arthur squinted at the approaching clouds, narrowly avoiding a market stool. Merlin stifled a giggle as the rather corpulent owner only just managed to stop himself screaming profanities.

"Remind me why we are doing this again?" Merlin moaned, in his most unhelpful tone. When Arthur shot a look back at him, he elaborated. "I mean, not escorting him out, that's understandable, we need to see him over the boarder to make Uther happy but I mean why are we doing this?" He gestured to the Prince and himself "I mean, can't we just let the knights do it?"

Arthur frowned when Merlin didn't use Uther's title, but answered anyway "Apparently, It's a learning experience for some of the younger knights. As their mentor I should be there."

"But it's going to rain!" Merlin whined, "And I didn't pack any change of clothes!"

Arthur threw a smirk at him. "Well you're not having mine." And he urged his horse into a run, Merlin desperately accelerating to keep up with him.

The marketplace faded into field and the field into forest and the two riders gradually came to ride next to each other, hooves stilling. Arthur stopped, assessing how far they had to go. Merlin looked up and down the main path hopefully, having also stopped his horse.

"It's a whole carriage and castle," Arthur exclaimed "They can't have gone that far!"

"They took a detour." Merlin had hopped off his horse.

Arthur snorted "And how would you know that, oh great Merlin?"

Merlin sighed "There are track marks here; they are leading off the path."

The crown prince peered round at the marks. They were, undoubtedly the wheel marks and footfalls of a whole royal procession. He looked briefly incredulous, but covered himself. "Well, would you look at that. My training might actually be paying off."

Merlin rolled his eyes, but all was forgotten as the rain started up. "Just great." He commented, holding out his hand as if to measure the rain fall. "Now we're going to be soaked through."

Arthur lifted himself off the horse and looked curiously down the side route "It's better covered that way. It also is a shorter route to a boarder. My father never specified which portion of the border to cross."

"Clever." Merlin smiled, following Arthur's lead. There was a rumble of thunder and the horses whinnied nervously.

"Come on, we'd better get going before they get really far ahead." Arthur sighed, handing Merlin the reins to the horses, which snorted and huddled closer to the other, fear in their eyes.

It was then that both men could hear the flail of incoming hooves, a horse on the run. Arthur twisted round, alerted to any danger.

"Woah, woah!" Arthur was on the main path, fearlessly rallying the frightened beast. The horse veered and stopped finally, half a foot away from the prince.

"Arthur!" Merlin clambered after him, having not seen what had happened. "Geeze, that thing could have run you oh-" he trailed off at the sight of a bedraggled girl clung to the horse. "Gwen?" he exclaimed.

She hadn't moved before but she did so now, easing herself up. "Merlin?" She whispered. She reached a sitting position and took one look at the boy "MERLIN!" she screamed, pushing herself off and away from the horse, running into her friend's arms. "Oh thank god!"

"You know her?" Arthur bleated uselessly, watching as the two embraced.

"Oh thank god." Gwen repeated, clinging to him like he was her last hope.

Arthur wondered why he was feeling jealous.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Merlin drew back, staring nervously at the girl before him.

She smiled. "I was fine right up until the storm started, the horse bolted." He exhaled his relief and hugged her again.

"Look, I hate to interrupt -" Arthur cut through, slapping a hand down on his servant and yanking him away forcefully. "- but your horse has a Camelot seal. Are you on official Camelot business?" _or just a horse thief _he stared pointedly at the rain drenched girl.

She turned to him, eyes wide with terror. "I am, my lord."

"She was doing something for Gaius" Merlin added, rubbing his shoulder and glaring at the prince.

"I'm sorry, was I addressing you?" Arthur snapped, turning to Merlin. When the boy backed away, he turned back to her. "Is that the truth?"

"It is, my lord." She didn't look at him. "I was delivering a letter on Gaius' behalf."

He scrutinised her for a long moment, eyes running down her rain drenched clothes – men's clothes, he noted. She was shivering. His raised his eyes to her face, which was plastered with black hair. His hand twitched as he swallowed a desperate, needy urge to wipe her face clear and maybe kiss her – he shook himself, confused.

He kept his eyes on her face, so he didn't notice Merlin's traumatised expression. "Merlin, take your horse and catch up with the knights. Tell them there has been a change of plans."

Merlin gaped. "You what?"

Arthur tactfully ignored him, eyes still on her. "I'm escorting her home. If her horse bolts again she may not make it back alive."

Gwen gulped, trying to stem the emotions erupting inside of her as he said those words, as she looked fearfully back into the eyes she missed so much -

Merlin, on the other hand, was not spell bound by Arthur's words. "'Can't I come with you? It's starting to rain really heavily now…"

_It is? I hadn't noticed. That would explain why Arthur's usually blonde dry hair is running in dark strands down his perfect face…_ Gwen pondered.

Arthur tore his eyes away, breaking the moment. "Merlin you will do as I say, rain or no rain!

Merlin shot a look to Guinevere, who looked like she had just been shot herself. "She's my friend!"

"I hadn't notice." Arthur gritted his teeth, Merlin realising perhaps too late that that was the wrong thing to say. He sighed and walked back to his horse.

"Fine. But I am coming back straight afterwards."

Arthur rolled his eyes and retrieved his horse as well, leaving Gwen holding her own. "As if you'd be any use to them anyway."

Merlin ignored the jab and lifted himself onto his horse. He turned in the saddle to send an apologetic look to Gwen, before setting off down the side path. This left the future King and his Guinevere.

He turned to her and gesturing to the other horse. "You okay to ride again?"

She jumped at the sudden address, eyes still lingering on the place where Merlin had been, cursing her luck. "Oh! Yes, I should think so. I'm better prepared this time." She braced herself and turned to the horse, warily. After a moment's hesitation, she launched herself at the horse again and made it to the saddle.

Steadying herself, she faced the Prince and put on her best formal act. "You don't have to do this sire, I should be fine from now on. I thank you for assisting me."

He stared at her defiantly. "It is my honour to do so."

"I'm a mere servant, should your father find you have abandoned your duty -"

"-Maybe my duty includes saving damsels in distress, did you think of that?" His voice strained as he lifted himself back on his horse. Guinevere bit her lip to silence herself.

Now in place, Arthur took up the lead back down the Camelot path. She followed nervously, wondering if it was only her feeling ill at ease. The rain strengthened then dwindled as they escaped the mighty clouds, finally reduced to a mere few drops distributed from lower leaves.

"Thank you for doing this." Gwen cast a glance over to him, surprised to find him reflective and deep in thought.

His head snapped round and she looked away. He returned his eyes to the front. "No problem."

She nodded to herself, wondering what conversation she could possibly make.

"What's your name?" Arthur cut through her thoughts.

She frowned. "Gwen, sire."

"I know that!" Arthur threw his hands up in exasperation. "I mean, what's it short for?"

"Oh…" She bit her lip again before coming to a conclusion. "Guinevere. But everybody just calls me Gwen."

He shot her a curious look, before drawing his eyes back on the path. His next comment was so small that she was not sure she had heard it right. "Guinevere. I rather like that name."

* * *

:3


	13. C13: No man is worth your tears

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: No man is worth your tears**

The carriage stumbled over another jut of land, as the rain lashed at the windows. Princess Rosaline leant next to the glass, watching the water run down its length. A feeble light – perhaps a lantern tacked to the back of her escort's horse - cast through the window and left shadows over her delicate features. She sighed heavily, the epitome of woe surrounding her.

"Rosaline." Her father's voice, she looked up. He's sat across from her on the opposing plush velvet seat. He looked disgruntled, which is no wonder as the carriage hardly made a smooth ride. She sighed again and waited for him to continue.

"I'm sorry your trip to Camelot didn't turn out as you expected. I know you have been looking forward to it for some time." He settled.

A smile flickered over her face. That was what he was worried about? "Don't be silly, father. I am merely glad to have been able to see the grand city within my life time." She turned her head back to the interminable rain.

Her mother, who was sat next to her, came to life for the conversation. "You realise we hardly saw any of it. I was hoping to enjoy the market during my stay."

King Carmen looked prominently downcast at his wife's comment. "Well, it did hit a rather abrupt end."

Rosaline flinched. She had meddled idly with people's love lives before. Why, there wouldn't be any scandals in her castle if she didn't abuse her powers. But she had never regretted it before. She sighed again. What was it that made this time different?

Her father's voice cut over her thoughts "Well, with Uther you can never tell. I had hoped to have seen some change in the man, but he remains as stubborn as ever. Well -" Carmen slapped his knees and stretched widely. "At least his son shows some promise. Perhaps with Arthur there is hope for Camelot yet."

That was it. When she first met Arthur, he had shown so much promise. As if he had had his life planned out before him, a dream in his head, a natural urge to lead. There had been hope.

She swore under her breath. Perhaps she was the first to realise they were destined to be together.

~o~

"Sire, Sire!" A guard ran forward to greet them, spitting his words through the impenetrable rain. The only light filtered through the castle windows as it towered over them.

Arthur jumped off his horse and addressed the guard easily, ignoring Gwen who followed suit.

"I turned back. My servant has gone on ahead to inform the knights."

The guard looked momentarily perplexed, before putting on his best formal tone. "Very well, I shall inform the king." He regarded the drenched girl standing next to the Prince. "And you are?"

"Gwen." She responded, visibly shivering in her rain drenched clothes. "I'm returning from running an errand on the Court Physician's behalf."

"Gaius's?" The guard questioned. "Very well. If you unhitch your bag a servant will take the horse away. You may proceed to his chambers."

Gwen nodded bravely, untucking her rain-raw hands and fiddling at the buckles.

"I'll be going to the Physicians chambers as well." Arthur cut across, easily unlatching the bag and handing it to her. His fingers brushed over hers and she gasped. His eyes met hers for a moment; blue on brown, but then he turned back to the guard, continuing as if nothing had happened. "I have to enquire after headache treatments."

The guard looked between the two curiously but disguised it well when the Prince turned back around. He coughed awkwardly. "I shall let the king know."

~o~

The corridor could be considered warm after the cold rain, the flickering torches provided little heat but it was above freezing. Gwen knocked shyly on the door, paying an overwhelming amount of attention to the detail of the wood rather than the man standing behind her. She considered just asking him to barge in but she knew neither of them could do that to their elderly physician. Finally, she heard a shuffling the other side of the door and with an eerie creak, it opened.

"Gwen!" Gaius exclaimed. "I hadn't expected you back today; you must be soaked to the bone. Come in, Come in!" He ushered her through. He made to close the door but then noticed the prince standing there. "Sire?"

Arthur stepped out of the shadows. "Excuse me Gaius, I was just wondering if you could provide a headache treatment."

Gaius looked worriedly from Gwen to Arthur, before replying. "Of course, of course. It's my job, come on in. I've got some prepared so you won't have to wait long."

Arthur nodded soberly and followed Gwen into the poorly lit chambers. Gaius fussed around with a few candles and threw another log on the dying fire. Gwen followed suit, lighting candles and fetching towels. The Prince stood stiffly at the door, watching them work with a conflicted expression on his face.

Satisfied, Gaius had selected a vial from the shelf. He measured out a quantity of it and made to hand it to Arthur. He paused, scanning his face. "Sire, have you not been sleeping well?"

Arthur inhaled, well aware he had been caught out. "I have been having vivid dreams, but most of it is due to the headaches."

Gaius nodded in that disarming way that suggested he knew something Arthur didn't. "And the feeling of something missing?"

Arthur actually laughed at that. "You don't miss a thing, do you Gaius?" He raised the potion in a mock 'cheers' before downing it in one. He grimaced at the sharp taste.

"If that fails to work, there's an alternative recipe we may have to try tomorrow, sire." Gaius informed, accepting the glass off him and flickering his eyes knowingly at Guinevere. "I'll see if I can incorporate something to reduce your other symptoms as well."

"They are hardly symptoms -" He protested, but held his tongue at one look from his experienced physician. "Anyway. I'm sure you'll want to speak to Guinevere and find out the results of your message. I'll leave you two."

"Goodnight, Sire." Gaius responded, bowing his head. Arthur closed the door after him. He waited until he heard the footsteps fade away before turning to the girl "Gwen what happened?" He whispered furiously.

Gwen's legs finally gave way and she collapsed into a chair. "I don't know! My horse bolted in the storm and Arthur stopped it, next thing I knew he was escorting me home!"

"Whatever would make the prince act in such a way?" Gaius wondered, even though they both suspected the same thing.

"Well, it was starting to rain and both him and Merlin seemed sour about catching up with the knights or something." She recited, starting to towel herself down.

Gaius moved over to his work bench and cleaned out the glass. "They were meant to be escorting King Carmen out of the boarders, but Merlin was in the cells so they left late."

"Merlin was in the cells?" Gwen looked up, hand paused in mid-dry.

"Yes, yes, but that's another story" Gaius dismissed. "I want to hear what happened to you first."

~o~

It hadn't taken long for Arthur to fall asleep. Perhaps it was the after effects of the headache potion or the overly pleasant feeling of dry clothes and a warm bed. In fact, he was rather overcome with this happy, light headed feeling. He saw blurs, outlines of things he perhaps never knew. It carries on in this way for a bit, lost in a happy smudge.

There is a heartbeat, faint at first but gaining momentum as he feels a touch on his lips and there is an overwhelming scent of flowers, and the world crashes into view. He's in a fight, she tells him, a fight to the death. "Live for me Arthur, that's all I ask" she implores. He knows he must. She's gone, replaced by Merlin who looks shocked, but there's something more in his eyes, something Arthur never noticed before. Respect.

He hears his own voice, telling him "She's not dispensable to me" and there is a rose, a moment, then something rips and he wakes up.

He lies, eyes flickering at the canopy of his bed. It was different to the dreams before. He tries to recall why, but the clutches of sleep claim him again.

* * *

**Proof that I can still pass History AND carry on doing things I enjoy.** Hey, just wanted to say THANK YOU! All you reviewers have been great, It's really nice hearing from you.

I've now reached a total of 40 people subscribed to this story, that's just amazing! Much more than I could ever hope.

Thank you for reading :)

**EDIT: Went through and corrected some of the tenses...**


	14. C14: We might have made it

Sorry for the wait! I've had to split the chapter in half anyway. Chapter name comes from Blur's 'To The End'

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: So it looks like, we might have made it.**

The rain had cleared overnight, leaving the small streets of Camelot as mud baths and miniscule rivers, coating shoes and dress hems. Gaius and Guinevere cut through the town, the physician holding two baskets and the girl hitching her dress up. They were on their way to restock the supplies. Gaius had looked over the notes for Evoke tea that morning and had confirmed the ingredients were fairly easy to come by, he had quantities of the more elusive ones and the rest were common parts.

When they finally reached the forest, it was apparent the rain had favoured the vegetation and plant life more than it did Camelot, as the ground no longer swelled under their feet and the trees sparkled with droplets. Everything seemed to have taken on a stronger, more vibrant hue.

The clearing was a short walk off the main path, and stored a lot of the basic ingredients, so it was were they would start. It was already quite late in the morning, they couldn't afford to waste time. Gwen started to pluck away at the vegetation, she and Gaius working in companionable silence. Nothing needed to be said.

They carried on in this way, at this clearing and the next, working their way around until the baskets were bursting and the requirements fulfilled. Merlin found them when they were having lunch, and joined them for a while. It was early afternoon by the time they finally traipsed back to Camelot.

Eventually Gaius voiced his thoughts. "Gwen?" She made a non-committed noise to signal she had heard. "What do you plan to do if this doesn't work?"

She sighed, she had been anticipating the question for some time. "I don't know." She said, truthfully. "I guess I could just carry on. See if he remembers me in his own time or… falls for me again."

"There's a chance he might." Merlin supplied "He's been dreaming about you. He hasn't said much about the actual dreams but I know they are about you…"

Gwen couldn't help but smile and Gaius nodded his approval. "That's good to know, but we must have faith in Alderfil – he's a good person, a well balanced researcher. He wouldn't help if he didn't think it would work."

"Yes, lets." Merlin swirled around on his feet to face the rest of them, grinning stupidly as he walked backwards. "If it doesn't work, we have options. But why are we worrying about that? It'll work. Just you wait and see."

Gwen raised her eyebrows and considered berating him for how on earth he would know, but it didn't matter. The confidence was all she needed. That, and the tea.

~o~

Arthur stared distrustfully into the cup. The combination of ingredients had turned it a rather unappetising brown, with something in a smoggy green floating at the top.

"You expect me to drink that?" He recited, clearly unimpressed.

Merlin hovered at his side. "It's a new recipe. It's to cure your headaches."

"With you as a servant I'll never be devoid of a headache." Arthur retorted. After several condescending looks he resigned. "Well why aren't I getting the usual stuff then?" he handed the cup to Merlin dismissively.

"I told you last night that we may have to try an alternative recipe." Gaius stepped in. "As our crown prince, we need you alert. These constant headaches, vivid dreams… at least we can be sure that this concoction will replenish your stamina after you pass out."

Arthur looked alarmed. "It's going to knock me out?" He turned to Merlin. "Did you know about this?"

Merlin grinned "That was one of the advantages of this potion."

Gaius sighed noisily. "I've passed it with your father. He believes it would be most beneficial."

Arthur looked defeated. "I don't have any _potentially fatal_ side effects. I'm sure a normal headache draft will suffice."

Gwen pressed her lips together, willing herself not to say anything. She was standing by the side, remaining in the shadows. This was hard, especially when she was watching him inadvertently decide their future.

The argument was still going on. "Sire, the recipe is from a trusted source. I would not prescribe it to you if I thought there would be any negative effects." Gaius soothed, his patience playing through.

Arthur flushed, having realised the impact on the old physician. "Gaius, I'm not accusing you of that. You've worked for my father my entire life. There is no-one else I trust more with my health."

The old physician nodded soberly. "I thank you for your patronage, sire. I only ask that you consider that in your decision whether or not to drink the potion."

Arthur looked caught out, standing awkwardly in his own chambers. He raked a hand through his messy blonde hair. "So it's going to knock me out, replenish my stamina and get rid of my headache."

"And get rid of the dreams and that feeling that something is missing." Merlin chirped.

Gaius sighed. "Indeed, sire." He gestured, and Merlin stepped forward with the tea as an offering. Arthur sighed and his shoulders slumped forward, clearly beaten. He looked up, seeking a way out but was matched by Merlin's and Gaius' unwavering glares. He found Gwen's eyes and she tensed, clutching at the fabric of her skirt, willing herself to remain calm. She managed to hold his gaze as he downed the cup in one. The room waited.

His head came back down and he grimaced. "Not as nice as it looks. Which is pretty damn horrible in that sense."

Merlin accepted the cup back and watched, warily. "Anything?"

Arthur raised a finger to his forehead, confused. "Nothing." Then fell into a dead faint.

* * *

**A/N **I've made it my personal goal to finish this by the end of the week (when i go on holiday) So don't shoot! Nearly done!


	15. C15: Goodbye

Ohh, I so wanted to end this story on 15 chapters. This is technically the second half of the last chapter, but, can't be helped. I'd like to say a quick thank you to all those who had read, reviewed, subscribed or even just put up with my ridiculous neglect of tenses. I've learnt a lot writing this (I finally cracked transitional chapters, did you see my efforts in the last one? Long paragraphs of little detail, i'm so proud :D) and I hope my writing hasn't gone downhill (oh don't be ridiculous, I know it has. It happens to everyone, they get too distracted by the plot.) I would announce I'm planning to give up fanfiction after I finish, as I was originally planning to (I get too hooked on websites like this. This should be for catharsis, not necessity.) but I don't think i'm going to succeed.

Anyway, on with the chapter.

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Goodbye**

He's dreaming again. Flashes of scenes, moments he can't quite place. His fingers tighten around a token, something he knows is of great importance. It reminds him of something, someone. It smells vaguely of flowers. She smells vaguely of flowers. Then it's gone and he's watching her. She sits in a field, the grass tickling her bare feet. He lavishes the soft sun highlighting her face, making her glow. She stands and she's in a wedding dress, a look of pride on her face, pride mingled with fear. He takes her hand and she's his queen. She's always been his Queen. It doesn't get much better than this, he knows. He knows because there are children, his children, and his father is smiling. The old king smiles. He longs for that pride. He longs for his Queen.

"Arthur." She says. "Arthur!"

There was a flash of light and he woke, bolting forward from his lying position. The dream died before his eyes. He registered he was in his bed. Someone had removed his shoes and the sky was darkening fast outside. It's much later in the evening.

As it turned out, there was a voice calling him. He turns to her, confusion flooding through his mind.

"Who -" he gasped, wondering why his throat was dry. "Who are you?"

She smiled, a gentle, loving smile. "Guinevere. I am Guinevere."

He frowned. "Where's Merlin?"

She looked confused, but humours him. "He's in the antechamber with Gaius. We've been waiting for you to wake."

He rubbed his forehead. The headache was still there. Faint, but nonetheless present. "It didn't work." He voiced, a flush of anger running through him. "I've still got a headache."

Guinevere frowned. "Do you remember me?"

He blinked. "Should I? He can smell flowers. She doesn't respond, her little mouth open in shock. He smirks, taking it as a 'yes' "Really? You're just a maid."

She stared back at him. "Just… a maid?" She whispered.

His face quirked with hidden laughter. "More importantly, do you remember me?"

She flushed. "You are the Crowned Prince, sire. I know that."

He smirked again. "Right you are. So is there a particular reason why I should remember 'just a maid'?"

She looked confused, so confused. "No, I suppose there isn't." the words are mechanical, almost as if it's only occurring to her as she says it.

"Guinevere." He smiles gently as a flash of hope crosses her face. "It's okay. I am, just a prince." He makes a move to put a hand on her arm but she moves away, collecting herself to leave. When she stands, her expression is set.

"Of course, my lord. My mistake. I won't be so foolish again." She curtsied, not daring to look at him. "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do." And for a moment, her eyes sought his, seeking any reversal. When none came, she tore away and ran out of the room.

Arthur blinked, caught out. As it seemed, the feeling that something is missing hadn't gone away either. "MERLIN!" He barked. "GET OUT HERE!"

~o~

It was many hours later, and Gaius was sat in his chambers. The old physician felt exhausted. It had been a long night, and it wasn't even over yet. He was opening another book at the index when he heard the door open.

He looked up as Merlin entered alone. "You couldn't find her?" The boy shook his head and the candle light played games over his features, animating the deathly pale skin.

"No," He managed, leaning on the door of the physician's chambers. "I've asked all over. No-one knows where she is."

Gaius grimaced. "She'll turn up. It's getting late now; she might just have lost track of time."

Merlin wiped his face with one hand, accentuating the bags underneath his eyes. "At least Arthur's asleep now, oblivious as always." He moved over to collapse into the seat opposite Gaius. "What do we do now?"

Gaius gave a put upon sigh. "We wait, and we read." He pushed a stack of books across the table. "There are other cures."

Merlin leant back into his chair, away from the books. "It's got worse. Arthur had a headache all afternoon, he doesn't remember anything. Maybe we've used our only chance."

"We can't just give in." Gaius pressed. "We still have options. You haven't even researched the spell yet. Come on, for both their sakes."

Merlin sighed. "I'm just thinking that maybe Gwen was right, maybe it's for the best that they stop now rather than be hurt later…"

"Oh snap out of it Merlin." Gaius slammed his hands down on the book in front of him, glaring angrily. "You and I both know they were made for each other. There will be hurt and pain, but they will pull through. If they can't have faith in themselves, it's up to us to have faith in them." The elderly physician glared at the boy. "Those two may cause each other a lot of trouble in the long run, but it'll be worth it. They're in love. That's how it works."

Merlin opened his mouth as if to respond, but thought better of it.

Gaius sighed. "You research the spell and magical properties; I'll cover the conventional means." Merlin had the sense to pull a book towards him.

His mentor turned his attention back to his book, and read a passage or two but he could see Merlin out of the corner of his eye. His charge hadn't even opened the book, but was playing with the ragged corner of it. Merlin looked suitably vacant, his mind whirring.

"Wait a minute." He leapt forward, clutching at air even though his mentor wasn't going anywhere. "Lacunar Amoray is a specific love alteration spell. We cast off the idea of true love's kiss because we didn't know what the motives were behind the spell."

"And now we do." Gaius half-asked.

"The motives were specifically love based – to get rid of the one he loves - so it might just work…" Merlin shot upwards. "We've got to find Gwen."

~o~

The stone corridor was one of the lovely balcony-like ones, graced with large, glassless windows that overlooked the courtyard and lit by a smattering of wall brackets and their distorted halos of light.

A maid, dusky with a mass of sooty curls, was propped in the frame of one of the openings, regal in every way but her blood. She didn't stay for long, she merely distracted herself by letting her eyes trace the stone work in such a manner it was almost committed to memory. She followed the line of the horizon once more before pushing away from the window and setting off on some unspecified path.

It wasn't much of a surprise that she reached the prince's door. Everything happens for a reason, her mind bitterly remarked, while her mouth seamlessly lied to the guards posted outside. They nodded, and let her in.

The room was haunted with a musty kind of darkness, hardly penetrated by the feeble light of a single candle stub burning to the base. In the centre, the crown prince was splayed over his bed, heavily asleep. Gwen suspected if it weren't for the potion he would have woken by now, his training and instincts kicking in.

But no, the golden prince did not wake. And Guinevere wasn't about to wake him either. She pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat down, reminded all too strongly of the times she had previously sat at his bedside and had feared for his life. She checked the temperature of his forehead, almost out of habit.

"Arthur?" She tested, hand still in place. "Arthur?" No response. "I need you, Arthur. I need you to remember me." Her fingers trembled, and she snapped her hand away as if electrocuted. She sighed heavily and stared at her hand in her lap. "I can't hold up this relationship for the both of us. I need your help, your reassurance. I need you to tell me that things will be different one day."

He doesn't react, she didn't expect him to. Still, she consulted the body. "Why does it feel like I should be saying good bye? Is this really the end?"

"I'm a fool, Arthur." She confided, "A fool for thinking we were stronger than that. A fool for believing you when you said things could be different." She shook her head and tears finally fell as she gripped the side of the bed.

"Well, Arthur, what am I supposed to do now?" She choked on the tears which were coming thick and fast now. "Am supposed to watch your life play out? To cater at your wedding, to nurse your heirs?"

She looked away, disgusted at the thought. "No matter what I do, I'll always be the foolish maid who once believed you could love her. I don't deserve that. You know I don't."

She realised she had, indeed, given up all hope. "I tried, Arthur, but this is too much of a weight for me to bear alone." And she stood, the room lit in such a way she was a mere outline, a faceless shadow.

"Good bye, Arthur Pendragon." She pressed her lips to his, and then fled the room.

Perhaps if she had delayed herself a few moments longer, she would have heard his confused, sleep-laced voice murmur "Guinevere?"


	16. C16: Ignorance is bliss

Thank you for **101** reviews. Thank you for **47** Story follows. Thank you for **26** story favs. Thank you for the **10,728** hits. Now, this is for the Arwen fans :D

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Ignorance is bliss**

Guinevere was dreaming. It was a beautiful, clear day and the market around her was bustling, despite it being early morning and the stalls only just set up. She smiled happily at a few of her neighbours and greeted some of the children, working her way through the crowds that no longer seemed to hinder her.

"Merlin you idiot. I can't believe you lost her!" The crown prince was berating his servant, as per usual.

The idiot replied just as scathingly. "I looked everywhere for her! It's not my fault she ran off in the first place."

Gwen rolled her eyes, arguing over a girl, were they? She stopped to inspect an apple cart, but the Princes' voice cut through her thoughts again.

"You didn't think to look for her in her own house!" The Prince spat back.

Merlin sighed. "Well that _was_ my fault. Oh, and It's this way." He pointed down towards the thick of the market, where Guinevere stood.

His master backtracked and followed the direction the servant indicated. "I knew that." He muttered.

"Anyway. I still think she could be anywhere by now. You didn't see the state she was in. How was I supposed to know you would wake up demanding to see her?" Merlin sighed, tailing the prince down the road.

Gwen amusedly noted the confusion at the mere presence of the future King. He and his manservant appeared to be searching for someone – this girl, she presumed – and were scanning the faces of the crowd in somewhat disguised desperation.

"Gwen?" Someone called her name, and she realised it was Merlin, his face hanging open with shock. She smiled and waved.

"GUINEVERE?" His master pushed him aside, struggling through the crowds as if they couldn't pass fast enough. She stood in confusion, a forgotten apple in her hands. He made it and stood before her, desperation now painstakingly obvious. "It's you!" He panted "It's actually you!"

"Sire?" She queried, now thoroughly confused. She didn't notice that the apple rolled out of her hands back into the fruit cart.

His eyes met hers and latched on. "I remember you, Guinevere. I remember you."

She became aware of the market place gossiping around her. _Well really, this is a strange dream._

"I remember you telling me off for being ungrateful at Hunith's, I remember you talking to me when I was on the brink of death. I remember hugging you when I returned from the dragon attack. I remember staying around your house under the guise of Sir William." He stands before her, expecting any sort of response but she doesn't react at all. "I remember you comforting me, time and time again, stopping me when I was about to do something stupid, helping when I was at my lowest points. I remember I love you, Guinevere. And nothing would ever change that."

Somewhere in his big speech the market had fallen silent to listen. The maid couldn't fathom a response and chose to chew on her lip in confusion. _Okay. I could do with waking up now. This is a cruel game._

"Gods, don't do that!" He cursed, before closing the distance between them and kissing her with all his might.

She gasped against his mouth as the sound came rushing in. The market roared around them, cheering and crying with joy. His hands were on her hips, she realised. This wasn't a dream.

She pulled away, and laughed, laughed with sheer relief. "Oh, Arthur!" She grinned with her hands around his neck – she must have placed them there at some point during the kiss – "That's amazing but you're forgetting something." She smiled as his face flooded with such innocent confusion. "You've forgotten something very important."

He looked so worried; bless him, so she smiled benevolently up at him. "You're forgetting our relationship was always a secret."

And it seemed his people's cheers dawned on him as well as he looked up and around, absorbing what he had just done. Then, he laughed. A genuine smile broke out over his face and he found Guinevere's hand, clutching onto it, drawing strength.

"Well then. I think we ought to have a word with my father." And he beamed down at her. His Guinevere, His Queen.


End file.
